Sheepy, your in here.
WOMEN'S NAMES
Ada - blue haired, smells of wee.
Aileen - laughs like a demented dog, likes tic tacs. Alison - bra
and pants are the same garment, looks better with the
light off
Amanda - I.Q. tends to be smaller than bra size. Probably a good
shag
> though.
Amy - Devious, likes being on top, never stays the night - Not to
be
> trusted.
Andrea - Small breasts, drinks pints.
Angela - Vain, hairstyle more important than oxygen. Usually found
> hanging around toilets
Annabelle - Doesn't wear knickers.
Annette - She's BIG.
Anne - Looks like a horse, can't drive.
Barbara - Shags like a rabbit, not fussy about appearance. Belinda
>
- Pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good points. Beryl
- Repressed alcoholic Beverley - Trapped in an eighties timewarp.
Bianca - Ginger.
Bridgette - Eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars.
Britney - Falsely improved, no use to society.
Camilla -replaces the word 'yes' with 'ya'.
Carina - Looks like the back of a bus, doesn't swallow
Caroline - Lard TANGO, shaves her ears.
Catherine - Attracted to the older man, needs ironing.
Claire - Perfect in every way and a complete sex goddess,
> shouldn't be
> left alone for too long.
Celine - Emits hideous noises, waste of DNA.
Charlotte - Enjoys tea and cake, farts the national anthem. Cheryl
>
- Can fit hand in mouth, eats glass. Christine - Likes men in
uniform, never warm. Daisy - Virgin.
Danni - Should make nice threesome with sibling.
Davina - drug induced mental damage, should shave her neck.
Dawn - Gets up early, smells of chips.
Deborah - Bites the pillow, uses both hands.
DeeDee - cannot understand why no one else masturbates in Ikea.
Denise - Sits on cat's eyes, wears too much make up.
Diane - Enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle. Adds nothing
> to
> society.
Donna - 70's throw back, likes cabbage.
Doris - Purple haired, stinks of wee.
Elaine - Rides sidesaddle, drinks metho.
Elizabeth - Born to perform, hates chickens.
Ellie - Far too attractive for the swear words that come out of
her
> mouth.
Emily - Wears odd socks, can have lesbian tendencies. Emma -
Gullible and easily swayed by a good looker or a gay guy. Estelle
- Likes wombles, eats grass and worms with brown sauce. Esther -
Plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed. Faith -
Legs meet at knees, can't shag standing up. Faye - Wears wellies,
can't swim. Felicity - She'll stab you with her nipples, plays
darts Fiona - Female mud wrestler, gives head.
Gail - Farts a lot, drinks Guinness.
Gayleen - Big tall woman who talks shite all day
Gaynor - Lesbian.
Geraldine - Too posh for her own good, likes flying.
Gillian - Dyes her hair green, likes clubbing.
Gina - Eternal mother, eats nappies
Glenda - Eats children, hates smoking.
Georgina - Wants to be a man.
Gwyneth - Blubs a lot, wees in the bath
Hannah - Needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs
Heather - Shags like a freight train, a screamer.
Helen - Hangs around with the wrong crowd, Kinky in bed, loves
> porn.
Heidi - The hills are alive with the sound of music, likes
> gherkins.
Hilary - Frigid.
Holly - Prickly to the touch, seasonal shagmeister.
Imogen - Drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed.
Ingrid - Right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles.
Jackie - Heroin addict, sold her child
Janet - Massive over bite, no neck.
Jane - Babe, I'd drink her bath water.
Jasmin - Smells of sewers, eats the heads off rats.
Jemma - Does anal, wears too much eye make-up.
Jennifer - Huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.
Jessica - Virgin, always will be.
Joanne - Moans in her sleep, cant cook, moans when she wakes up!
Judith - Big eyes, big tits
Judy - Huge tits, married to an TANGO.
Julia - Innocent face, don't trust her, she'll steal your wallet
> in
> five minutes
Justine- Massive tits, likes hanging around men's toilets. Julie -
>
Jabba the Hutt's sister, constantly pregnant. Karen - Huge tits,
shags like a rabbit. Kate - talks complete boll*cks all the time,
scavenger. Kelly - smells of cheese, slobbers when kissing.
Kimberley - wants to be a bloke, drinks like a bloke, farts like a
> bloke, and wears a wig.
Kirsty - Eats live moles, can't dance.
Kylie - Can't sing but who cares.
Lana - Hated by her parents, accidental pregnancy.
Lara - Action packed, never seen naked.
Laura - Likes Max power magazine, can't drive.
Lauren - Pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night. Leah - Likes
outdoor sex, wees standing up. Lena - Eats food then throws up,
rapidly shrinking. Leslie - Likes bondage, hates men.
Linda - Teenage bride, can swallow oranges whole.
Lindsay - Likes doggy style, doesn't do housework.
Lisa - Will take all your money and run, gets turned on by porn.
Liz - Long legged and brainey.
Lorraine - Constantly whinges, will strip for a packet of
> jellybabies
Louise/a - Likes to get around, saggy tits.
Lucy - Strange dancer, wants to marry her dad.
Madeline - Drives like a bloke, likes tractors.
Maggie - Trainspotter, likes plaid.
Margaret - Lovely mother, very generous.
Maria - Bangs like a barn door.
Marie - Life's slapper. Likes men to do DIY.
Marina - No get up and go, rusty underwear.
Marilyn - Eats like a horse, out stays her welcome.
Martina - Ugly lesbian
Martine - Can't act, can't sing, nice tits.
Matilda - Likes dancing, mainly the waltz.
Meg - Cheesy smell, should be spelt with an S
Melanie - Can hold two bar vacuum orally indefinitely.
Melissa - Eats dogs, been in prison 6 times for burglary.
Meryl - Dances like an ape, doesn't realise.
Michaela - Likes animals, should make a video with them.
Michelle - Wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag
Marsha - Big butt, small brain.
Monica - Doesn't swallow, should have.
Naomi - Wannabe diva, more of a diver.
Nancy - White hair, remembers manners.
Natalie - Eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune.
Natasha - Had seven kids before age 17, needs ironing.
Nell - Hasn't realised WWII has ended, lives in Kent.
Nicola - Slapper, alcoholic in denial
Nina - Stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years.
Olga - You can park a bike in her ars*crack, excessive facial
> hair.
Olivia - Neutron bombho ta
Pamela - Gives amazing head, made of plastic.
Pat - Butt ugly lesbian with a beard.
Paula - Transvestite merchant banker from Basildon.
Penelope - Pit stop queen, likes men to be stiff.>
Phillippa - Forest forager, likes wild boar.
Priscilla - likes painting with oils, Duckhams mainly.
Rachel - Amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her
> TANGO cheeks.
Rebecca - Hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.
Rose - Can be prickly, good head giver.
Rula - She measures up well.
Sadie - Stand up if you're slim, please stand up.
Sally - Drives a Mustang, fights in pubs.
Samantha - Loves her brother, has four deformed children. Sandra -
>
Shags donkeys for fun, bow legged Sarah - Loves sleeping and
alcohol and is work shy. Selina - Doesn't wear pants, heavy
laundry bills. Sharon - Shags like a locomotive, yo-yo knickers.
Shirley - Can swallow a Curly Whirly whole, likes bananas.
Sian - Does mean sheep impression, hates mint sauce.
Simone - Used to be a shot putter from Cardiff.
Sonya - Dirty lady of the night. Often referred to as a "carrier"
Sophie - Brothel madam, wears a wrinkly corset.
Stacey - Likes cut off jeans and arseless Speedo's.
Steffi - Closet lesbian, maintains heterosexual relationship for
> effect.
Stephanie - Eats Muppets, wears Brogues.
Sue - totally gorgeous!!
Tanya - Hot minx, too short.
Tara - Upper class slapper, needs extra chemicals.
Tina - Face like a smacked TANGO, should eat less.
Tori - Lives in a hedge, can't water ski.
Tracy - Easily swayed by alcohol. Mostly seen without underwear.
Loves kittens.
Tracey - Lesbian.
Ursula - Likes puppies, in curry.
Vicky- Likes Yoga and Women.
Wendy - Possibly a man.
Zoe - Talentless rock chick.
I think the author knows my missus too!
>Joanne - Moans in her sleep, cant cook, moans when she wakes up!
gail sounds like my perfect match.
Gail - Farts a lot, drinks Guinness
i been out with a tanya, this is 1/2 right coz she isnt short
Tanya - Hot minx, too short
Mine = Fiona - Female mud wrestler, gives head
Spooky 8O
what? your called fiona?
I knew it!
Sigh :(
I've quizzed her further and she doesn't in fact wrestle in mud at all. H&S regs don't allow the girls to use real mud, due to the danger of catching something from the bugs n stuff that live in the mud.
They actually use a combination of growing soil (the stuff you can buy from Homebase for your pot plants), warm water and baby oil (make the mud go slimy and stick better). There, so now we have all learnt something interesting.