Dead Men Walking

QuoteWhile I was driving down the A77 the other day, (going a little faster than  I should have been), I passed under a bridge only to see the police on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk asked: "Runway too short??

 

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

 

To which he asked, "What do you do?"

 

I responded, "I'm a rectum stretcher"

 

The copper was surprised and confused. "A rectum stretcher??

 

And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

 

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."

 

Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot @ rsehole?"

 

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge ..."

 

Speeding ticket: £105.00

 

Penalty Points : 3

 

Court costs: £45

 

Look on copper's face: Priceless.

 

There are some things money can't buy ……….

QuoteOriginally posted by Ninja_Freak@May 9 2006, 01:16 PM
That's so old it's children are grandparents.

You need some new material.

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