Dead Men Walking

dMw Chit Chat => The Beer Bar => Technology Section => Topic started by: Doorman on April 25, 2003, 01:26:53 PM

Title: New monitor
Post by: Doorman on April 25, 2003, 01:26:53 PM
I've just ordered a new 19" Samsung SM957df monitor and want to know how to explain to the WIFE how my monitor has grown. Is there perhaps, a free software on the internet that can make this happen? I ordered it in the heat of the moment, (you know the one 'Ah bollocks, I'm gonna have it!') now I'm sweating like a pig. I need help or ' :agrue: ' will break out. A prize for the excuse that works.
Title: New monitor
Post by: Dr Sadako on April 25, 2003, 01:31:06 PM
That your old monitor have started to "flicker" and "soon will be dead".
Title: New monitor
Post by: Gandalf on April 25, 2003, 01:35:51 PM
"The voices made me do it"
Title: New monitor
Post by: JB on April 25, 2003, 02:02:13 PM
The old one gave me eye strain and headaches and headache's mean no sex for my beautiful sexy wife.  It's for your benefit you see.   :wink:
Title: New monitor
Post by: Stryker on April 25, 2003, 03:02:03 PM
the monitor was free!

Title: New monitor
Post by: Stryker on April 25, 2003, 03:02:51 PM
besides, whats she doing out the kitchen in order to notice said new monitor?
Title: New monitor
Post by: DonkeyCheeseGrater on April 25, 2003, 04:27:28 PM
:D
Title: New monitor
Post by: Doorman on April 25, 2003, 04:32:11 PM
Quotebesides, whats she doing out the kitchen in order to notice said new monitor?
Harsh. She just wants to be near me all the time. Bless her.
Title: New monitor
Post by: suicidal_monkey on April 25, 2003, 05:56:48 PM
When the other excuses arent working say it was on sale and you saved over £100 :roll:

...flowers and stuff always helps
Title: New monitor
Post by: sheepy on April 25, 2003, 06:21:59 PM
he mentiond the magic word for women!!!! SALE!!!!
Title: New monitor
Post by: Doorman on April 25, 2003, 06:26:17 PM
QuoteWhen the other excuses arent working say it was on sale and you saved over £100 :roll:

...flowers and stuff always helps

This one is in the lead so far, however, experience tells me that if you go overboard with the flowers and stuff they'll smell a rat.
Title: New monitor
Post by: sheepy on April 25, 2003, 07:51:10 PM
w8 a bit, arnt u supposed to b in happy wedded bliss on your honey moon having lots of wild rampent sex at the moment???? not sitting at home ordering computer bits??
Title: New monitor
Post by: Dingo on April 25, 2003, 10:53:28 PM
............ah D, the words of wisdom you have heard so far seem to come from mere mortal men.......Monkey is the closest but you are right she will smell a rat.....there is only one thing to do.........


stick it in the cupboard for a couple of months then bring it out.....if she remarks upon it say "Oh, this old thing, I have had it for ever but just haven't got round to getting it out of the box yet, what do you think darling?, does my bum look big in this?"

Reverse the psycology.....what can she say??!!   :lol:  :lol:
Title: New monitor
Post by: Zok on April 26, 2003, 01:02:27 AM
only married for a couple of weeks
and already worried bout what the missus sez
tut tut :roll:  :roll:
Title: New monitor
Post by: Doorman on April 26, 2003, 01:03:08 AM
Quotew8 a bit, arnt u supposed to b in happy wedded bliss on your honey moon having lots of wild rampent sex at the moment???? not sitting at home ordering computer bits??
Ah bless!
Title: New monitor
Post by: Doorman on April 26, 2003, 01:04:57 AM
Quote............ah D, the words of wisdom you have heard so far seem to come from mere mortal men.......Monkey is the closest but you are right she will smell a rat.....there is only one thing to do.........


stick it in the cupboard for a couple of months then bring it out.....if she remarks upon it say "Oh, this old thing, I have had it for ever but just haven't got round to getting it out of the box yet, what do you think darling?, does my bum look big in this?"

Reverse the psycology.....what can she say??!!  :lol: :lol:
Trouble with that theory is, I want to use it NOW.
Title: New monitor
Post by: smilodon on April 26, 2003, 01:37:40 AM
Tell her the truth  :?:
Title: New monitor
Post by: Doorman on April 26, 2003, 01:40:24 AM
The truth? Are you mad?
Title: New monitor
Post by: Gandalf on April 26, 2003, 09:24:09 AM
Take her out shopping for shoes. Women can never have enough shoes, and when she is at home trying them all on you can discretely swap the monitors out :) w1n4r as Sheepy would say.
Title: New monitor
Post by: smilodon on April 26, 2003, 12:48:39 PM
Tell her the truth.

Show her this thread and then say you couldn't go through with a lie and that any relationship has to be based on honesty and truth.

Then she'll fall sobbing into your arms and admit that she was planning to keep her £10 million lottery win a secret from you, but you have shown her the error of her ways and 'pack your bags we're of to Barbados for a year while we decide how to blow the lot :D '
Title: New monitor
Post by: smite on April 26, 2003, 12:51:00 PM
QuoteTell her the truth.

Show her this thread and then say you couldn't go through with a lie and that any relationship has to be based on honesty and truth.

Then she'll fall sobbing into your arms and admit that she was planning to keep her £10 million lottery win a secret from you, but you have shown her the error of her ways and 'pack your bags we're of to Barbados for a year while we decide how to blow the lot :D '

I want to live in you world :D
Title: New monitor
Post by: smilodon on April 26, 2003, 01:23:06 PM
Quoteo Barbados for a year while we decide how to blow the lot :D

I want to live in you world :D

 :D It happend mate......right before two 19 year old blonde girls, who forgot to leave the Girl Guides, come round in their squeezy too tight uniforms selling home made cookies and hot fresh slices of their very own apple pie. And then one suggests we all........... 8O  To much information I think  :oops:
Title: New monitor
Post by: suicidal_monkey on April 26, 2003, 03:14:47 PM
mmmm ... pie  :eating:
Title: New monitor
Post by: sheepy on April 26, 2003, 03:54:09 PM
just blame it on the flying monkeys if all esle fails
Title: New monitor
Post by: A Twig on April 27, 2003, 10:43:29 AM
Tis exceedingly simple. Just say that the office had a whole loada monitors they were floggin, and as you needed a new one anyways, you bought one for about £20...

Failing that, you came downstairs one morning and it was there!!!!
Title: New monitor
Post by: smite on April 27, 2003, 10:48:34 AM
QuoteTis exceedingly simple. Just say that the office had a whole loada monitors they were floggin, and as you needed a new one anyways, you bought one for about £20...

I like this one i have used it quite a few times...not quite the same but close.   "yes darling one of the lads at work just got a new one and was selling this... bargain at £80 couldnt really turn it down could i"
Title: New monitor
Post by: Doorman on April 27, 2003, 01:07:11 PM
I've just start laying the ground work by telling her I've put in a bid on eBay for £75. That was greeted by a 'tsk' 'What do you need another monitor for?' So far so good.
Title: New monitor
Post by: suicidal_monkey on April 27, 2003, 03:35:07 PM
well, you best sell your current one and make a "profit" then eh ;)
Title: New monitor
Post by: Doorman on April 28, 2003, 06:19:06 PM
She bought the eBay thing.  :) So the next step is to say 'Hey babe, I got the monitor. What a steal!'  :roll:  I'll be paid back at some stage, I know.