Dead Men Walking

Forum Archive 2023 => dMw's Community Centre => Community Archive => Compost Corner => Topic started by: noevra on February 28, 2007, 01:26:50 PM

Title: soccer joke!
Post by: noevra on February 28, 2007, 01:26:50 PM
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A Ukranian women bumps into the Chelsea first team squad in a nightclub. She approaches John Terry & asks for his autograph. She duly pops out her left tit, which he signs. She asks Drogba for the same, drops out her right tit & he signs it. She asks Mourinho for his autograph, drops her knickers & shows her fanny to him. To which he said “**** off! The last time i signed a Ukranian c**t it cost me 30 million quid!”
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Title: soccer joke!
Post by: Nefertem on February 28, 2007, 01:37:41 PM
I guess you have to be a chealsea/fotball fan? I didn't get it :eyebrow:
Title: soccer joke!
Post by: noevra on February 28, 2007, 01:45:02 PM
Mourinho = coach

 
Shevchenko = transfer of 30 mil.

problem is shevchenko cant score @ chealse and shevchenko is a Ukranian....

omg i just axplained a joke:sideways:
Title: soccer joke!
Post by: Nefertem on February 28, 2007, 01:46:50 PM
Figured it might be something like that.. But not really following football anymore :rolleyes:
Title: soccer joke!
Post by: Blunt on February 28, 2007, 03:17:39 PM
Quote from: noevra;178888Mourinho = coach

 
Shevchenko = transfer of 30 mil.
 
problem is  cant score @ chealse and shevchenko is a Ukranian....

omg i just axplained a joke:sideways:

Quoteshevchenko
Chelsea

     League
     Appearances: 24 (6 as sub)
     Goals: 3
     Yellow cards: 1
     Red cards: 0

     FA Cup
     Appearances: 3 (1 as sub)
     Goals: 2
     Yellow cards: 1
     Red cards: 0

     League Cup
     Appearances: 4 (0 as sub)
     Goals: 3
     Yellow cards: 0
     Red cards: 0

     Euro Cups
     Appearances: 6 (1 as sub)
     Goals: 2
     Yellow cards: 0
     Red cards: 0
   

AC Milan

     League
     Appearances: 207 (14 as sub)
     Goals: 126
     Yellow cards: 9
     Red cards: 0

     Euro Cups
     Appearances: 68 (1 as sub)
     Goals: 36
     Yellow cards: 5
     Red cards: 0

Dynamo Kiev

     Euro Cups
     Appearances: 8 (0 as sub)
     Goals: 8
     Yellow cards: 0
     Red cards: 0


That's 10 goals in 36 appearances(8 as sub) for Chelsea = 1 goal in every 3.6 games

QuoteFrank Lampard
Chelsea

     League
     Appearances: 213 (4 as sub)
     Goals: 60
     Yellow cards: 20
     Red cards: 1

     FA Cup
     Appearances: 27 (4 as sub)
     Goals: 8
     Yellow cards: 2
     Red cards: 0

     League Cup
     Appearances: 22 (8 as sub)
     Goals: 5
     Yellow cards: 2
     Red cards: 0

     Euro Cups
     Appearances: 46 (2 as sub)
     Goals: 13
     Yellow cards: 7
     Red cards: 0
   

Swansea

     League
     Appearances: 9 (1 as sub)
     Goals: 1
     Yellow cards: 0
     Red cards: 0

West Ham

     League
     Appearances: 148 (15 as sub)
     Goals: 24
     Yellow cards: 17
     Red cards: 0

     FA Cup
     Appearances: 13 (0 as sub)
     Goals: 2
     Yellow cards: 1
     Red cards: 0

     League Cup
     Appearances: 16 (1 as sub)
     Goals: 9
     Yellow cards: 1
     Red cards: 0

     Euro Cups
     Appearances: 10 (0 as sub)
     Goals: 4
     Yellow cards: 1
     Red cards: 0


That's 86 goals in 308 appearances(18 as sub) for Chelsea = 1 goal every 3.58 matches 3.5813953488372093023255813953488 to be precise:sideways:

Not a great deal of difference between them really is there?




OMG...I just Fisked a joke:sideways:
Title: soccer joke!
Post by: Luminance on February 28, 2007, 07:20:23 PM
Hmm interesting word, Fisked, pulled out some dictionaries, with no luck.
Then i tried wikipedia and voilá. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fisking)
It really has some history :O
Title: soccer joke!
Post by: Blunt on February 28, 2007, 10:52:58 PM
Glad to be the bringer of new words:D

although, in the long-run it's probably ungood:sideways: (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newspeak)