1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like... night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
15. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
25. Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
26. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Quote from: suicidal_monkey;1839663. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
:roflmao:
Quite some good ones there!
Quote from: suicidal_monkey;18396618. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
For the rest also very nice finds.
Quote19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
well, considering that 97% of a fully wet sponge is water, i'd say the ocean would be a tiny bit less deep if you would remove it, cuz your removing 3% volume of the sponges from the ocean :P
nice quotes btw, really liked nr 14 :D
Number 26 FTW :clap:
Too many good ones, can't decide which to quote. :lmfao:
Quote from: =|B ° K|=;184012Too many good ones, can't decide which to quote. :lmfao:
you can take mine :P
I go for 22:D
6 FTW:eyebrow:
I like 26. "Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."
lets all post some :D
27. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
28. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
29. Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
29. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
30. Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
31. If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
32. Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
33. Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
34. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
35. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
36. If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
37. If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
38. If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
39. If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
40. You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
41. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
42. Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
43. Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
44. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
45. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
36 is very interesting thought
38 sounds like a experiment to me :P
44 has intrigued me :)
and 45 is old but still :)
Quote from: Luminance;184079
27. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Or: Why did they make the word "lisp" so, that nobody with one can say it properly?
hehe!! :roflmao:
mooore I say, mooore :D
Quote from: spiritus;184281hehe!! :roflmao:
mooore I say, mooore :D
Mandy Moore:
(http://www.askmen.com/specials/2005_top_99/celebs/40_mandy_moore.jpg)
Enough?
hehe :lmfao:
you got me to giggle at work.. aiaiaiai
Quote from: spiritus;184291hehe :lmfao:
you got me to giggle at work.. aiaiai
Can't say I've heard of that band before:
(http://www.botiboti.org/grups/aiaiai.jpg)
starting to get afraid here DuVeL..
let's see if you can get a funny pic of this comment :D
Quote from: spiritus;184297this comment
(http://www.layoutmyspacecodes.com/graphics/myspace-comments/funny/bpic4807.jpg)
(http://www.layoutmyspacecodes.com/graphics/myspace-comments/funny/myspace-codes-commentssex.jpeg)
(http://s128.photobucket.com/albums/p165/commentgraphics/Funny/9b424dfa98a792f.gif)
lol.. nice finds there :roflmao:
Quote from: DuVeL;184288Enough?
What, you kiddin me?
yeah. keep em' comming.. no pics on that one plz :doh:
edit: wouldn't be worksafe
as we all probably remember the joke about uss montana ship that wouldn't change course.. http://www.snutter.no/app/viewMovie.action?id=3068
:lmfao:
edit: found a add commercial.. lol
http://www.snutter.no/app/viewMovie.action?id=2983
edit2: parents *shrug*
http://www.snutter.no/app/viewMovie.action?id=2979
Quote from: delanvital;184307What, you kiddin me?
Ah, you mean the song from a Dutch artist, Anouk:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCsDtwLe55Y
I do like that kind of music sometimes yeah.
[Dutch/] Je begint flauw te worden, misschien iets zouter eten? :P:P:P [Dutch]
cool. not heard that one in ages :D
Quote from: Luminance;184327[Dutch/] Je begint flauw te worden, misschien iets zouter eten? :P:P:P [Dutch]
:taz:
Ahwell, atleast Spiritus seems to enjoy it. And I don't really care if you find it amusing or not
:devil:
Shouldn't it be: [Dutch] [/Dutch] :narnar:
Quote from: spiritus;184323as we all probably remember the joke about uss montana ship that wouldn't change course.. http://www.snutter.no/app/viewMovie.action?id=3068
:lmfao:
edit: found a add commercial.. lol
http://www.snutter.no/app/viewMovie.action?id=2983
edit2: parents *shrug*
http://www.snutter.no/app/viewMovie.action?id=2979
Snutter is like snippets or something? In Danish snutter is like a hot chick in plural :D
Quote from: Luminance;184327[Dutch/] Je begint flauw te worden, misschien iets zouter eten? :P:P:P [Dutch]
Best all day :lmfao:
EDIT: Translation: I begin a flow of words, if you take the missus to eat zouter?
Quote from: Nefertem;184340EDIT: Translation: I begin a flow of words, if you take the missus to eat zouter?
?????
its more like:
You are starting to get dull ([with the cheap jokes]), maybe you should eat a bit more spicier.
But i dout it can really be translated, cuz i'm not sure if they use such an expression.
Quote from: delanvital;184332Snutter is like snippets or something? In Danish snutter is like a hot chick in plural :D
Snutter is like snippets = Norwegian
but i like the danes use of the word better if thats right :narnar:
Quote from: Luminance;184343?????
its more like:
You are starting to get dull ([with the cheap jokes]), maybe you should eat a bit more spicier.
Close enough..
Well, this would get pretty close:
The English would just use this usually: :getmecoat: "I'll get my coat".
Or towards me: "Here's your coat"...
"I'll get my coat" meaning: It's ment to be funny but it's not that funny: move on...
The Dutch expression Luminance is using:
It's a bit lame, want salt with that (so when adding salt he can "eat/get" the joke a bit better)...
atleast it wassn't written in 1337 n00b|5h 14ngu4g3.
then you would have a problem neffles :narnar:
edit: so what does "snutter" mean in the danish language neffles?