Dead Men Walking

Forum Archive 2023 => dMw's Community Centre => Community Archive => Laugh? I nearly started. => Topic started by: Hektor on June 16, 2007, 01:47:24 AM

Title: a scientific analysis (of woman)
Post by: Hektor on June 16, 2007, 01:47:24 AM
Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg, may vary from 40-200kg
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas

Physical properties:
1. Surface usually covered in painted film
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason
3. Melts if given special treatment
4. Bitter if incorrectly used
5. Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore
6. Yields to pressure applied at correct points

Chemical properties:
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man

Common uses:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
3. Very effective cleaning agent

Tests:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen

Potential hazards:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other
3. Should you experience itching, burning or rash, discontinue use immediately and seek medical treatment.

WARNING: PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE PHYSICAL, MENTAL, AND FINANCIAL DAMAGE
Title: a scientific analysis (of woman)
Post by: Luminance on June 16, 2007, 09:17:19 AM
whaha, pure class ^^

don't you just love science? :P
Title: a scientific analysis (of woman)
Post by: Hektor on June 19, 2007, 02:16:48 PM
the immortal words of my latein teacher: non scholae sed vitae discimus :)
Title: a scientific analysis (of woman)
Post by: Bk on June 19, 2007, 03:41:06 PM
Quote from: Hektor;194576non scholae sed vitae discimus :)

Which means?
Title: a scientific analysis (of woman)
Post by: Hektor on June 19, 2007, 04:12:55 PM
it means: "you dont learn for the school, you learn for life".
originally its a quote from seneca about 2000 years ago, but he says it in the opposide way. he said: "you learn for the school, not for life". so he criticized the school system, and that you learn only things, you dont need in life. however, teachers invert this quote, to tell how important school for your life is. but i have modest doubts about that.
Title: a scientific analysis (of woman)
Post by: Lee on June 19, 2007, 05:31:51 PM
Well you can't argue with science i guess! :g: