Dead Men Walking

Forum Archive 2023 => dMw's Community Centre => Community Archive => Laugh? I nearly started. => Topic started by: TeaLeaf on February 25, 2009, 12:16:42 PM

Title: Your Yearly Dementia Test
Post by: TeaLeaf on February 25, 2009, 12:16:42 PM
It's that time of year to take your annual dementia test.

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!

Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.
The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.

No cheating, please..just scroll down till you see the next question :tongue:


OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.










1. What do you put in a toaster?












































Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast,' give up now and do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.













2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?










Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World.
However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.





3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?











Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why the hell are you still reading these???
If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.





4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany .)

Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of 'no man's land' between East Germany and West Germany . Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany , West Germany , or no man's land'?












Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, 'You don't bury survivors', proceed to the next question.




5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales . In London , 17 people get on the bus. In Reading , six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , three people get off and five people get on . In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?


















Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!
Title: Your Yearly Dementia Test
Post by: Anonymous on February 25, 2009, 12:28:36 PM
Slow day at the office TL? :roflmao:
Title: Your Yearly Dementia Test
Post by: Doorman on February 25, 2009, 12:41:35 PM
I don't get it. :blink: You'd never get planning permission for a green house. :rolleyes:
Title: Your Yearly Dementia Test
Post by: Luminance on February 25, 2009, 05:38:53 PM
I said milk, every cow drinks milk ... (atleast the first 14 months or so :P)
Title: Your Yearly Dementia Test
Post by: Jewelz^ on February 25, 2009, 06:33:07 PM
number four got me! Cheeky!:doh:
Title: Your Yearly Dementia Test
Post by: sulky_uk on February 25, 2009, 06:44:56 PM
failed at question 1:doh:
Title: Your Yearly Dementia Test
Post by: TE_owner on February 25, 2009, 09:08:44 PM
who are you where am i why did i fail at all of them exept 1st one :lmfao:
Title: Your Yearly Dementia Test
Post by: DarkAngel on February 25, 2009, 09:15:31 PM
Cow's drink MILK

PROOF! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sgJWHRDKjc)
Title: Your Yearly Dementia Test
Post by: Anonymous on February 25, 2009, 09:29:39 PM
Quote from: DarkAngel;265708Cow's drink MILK

PROOF! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sgJWHRDKjc)

That's not proof. It could have been beer in there for all you know :)
Title: Your Yearly Dementia Test
Post by: Browne on February 25, 2009, 11:13:23 PM
Quote from: DarkAngel;265708Cow's drink MILK

PROOF! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sgJWHRDKjc)

Jaysus I'm not surprised she's sucking, there's feck all grass
Title: Your Yearly Dementia Test
Post by: Luminance on February 26, 2009, 05:48:46 PM
LOL thats not beer, you can clearly see a white substance, (not all is foam so :P)

Thats one really clever cow too, dmn, wished I could do that (if i had milk ofc.)
Title: Your Yearly Dementia Test
Post by: delanvital on February 27, 2009, 09:41:34 AM
Failed the first, made the rest. Cheeky one!