Dead Men Walking

Forum Archive 2023 => dMw's Community Centre => Community Archive => Laugh? I nearly started. => Topic started by: Dingo on September 16, 2009, 11:08:06 AM

Title: The Blonde Mortician
Post by: Dingo on September 16, 2009, 11:08:06 AM
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
 
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
 
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and she says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
 
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.
 
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend? To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
 
There's no charge,' she says.
 
No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
 
Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
"So I just switched the heads.'
Title: The Blonde Mortician
Post by: DarkAngel on September 16, 2009, 12:06:29 PM
That's so wrong although i cant stop laughing, am i disturbed? :roflmao:
Title: The Blonde Mortician
Post by: Dingo on September 17, 2009, 01:44:16 AM
Quote from: DarkAngel;289932That's so wrong although i cant stop laughing, am i disturbed? :roflmao:

But we are disturbed together, so we have a Community:D:D:D
Title: The Blonde Mortician
Post by: delanvital on September 17, 2009, 05:45:48 PM
Lmfao... good stuff :roflmao:
Title: The Blonde Mortician
Post by: smilodon on September 17, 2009, 07:23:05 PM
Deliciously twisted. I approve :lmfao:
Title: The Blonde Mortician
Post by: Gh0st Face Killah on September 18, 2009, 08:38:44 AM
Soup herb!!!
Title: The Blonde Mortician
Post by: emilyanderson on October 09, 2009, 04:14:34 PM
Good one :roflmao:

But, to our surprise some people aspire to be a mortician. They need to have courage and strong determination. http://tipdeck.com/how-to-become-a-mortician -- it can be a great source of information for anyone.
Title: The Blonde Mortician
Post by: OldBloke on October 09, 2009, 05:58:30 PM
Quote from: emilyanderson;292276Good one :roflmao:

But, to our surprise some people aspire to be a mortician. They need to have courage and strong determination. http://tipdeck.com/how-to-become-a-mortician -- it can be a great source of information for anyone.

That's gotta be the weirdest spam post I've ever seen. :blink:
Title: The Blonde Mortician
Post by: Toxteth on October 09, 2009, 08:10:19 PM
:roflmao: Agreed Oldie!
Title: The Blonde Mortician
Post by: Jabbs on October 09, 2009, 10:29:26 PM
Switched heads oh dear oh dear oh dear! :D :roflmao:
Title: The Blonde Mortician
Post by: Benny on October 10, 2009, 12:01:40 AM
I'm gonna award her an L4D badge for effort...
Title: The Blonde Mortician
Post by: Sithvid on October 10, 2009, 08:40:46 AM
nice :roflmao::roflmao: