I don't know whether to laugh or cry, you can't fault the logic; (assuming this isn't a repost)
Dear Mr. Cameron,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing England 's economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the
money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the
following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids toschool/college/university -
Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
and there's your money back in duty/tax etc
6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme
that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy sods to
reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back
their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
If not, please disregard.
Grumpies of the World Unite
Also.....
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home
This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical
treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed
and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and
snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual
counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on
request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with
gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards
would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
Sorry Benny, it's a repost.
1) Probably okay, but where's the skills to fill those jobs?
2) If you can find a British car to buy....
3) Buying a house only fuels the false economic bubble and makes houses beyond expensive for our children. A house-price crash would be better.
4) Crime is the staple of 3% of the populous, who are on benefits when not in prison, so sending kids to school won't fix this. Sterilisation of repeat offenders might well eliminate crime in a generation, but that's not a realistic option.
5) Buying fags and booze raises less tax than it costs the NHS in treating heart disease and cancers caused by them.
6) Neutron bomb on USA and China might stop pollution, since we don't account for much (we don't make anything). Again, not an option. But then since 40% of EVERYTHING is made in China, we'd have a problem pretty quickly.
Putting offenders in old people's homes and pensioners in prison is a sound idea. Clearly locking criminals up for ten minutes doesn't achieve much - most of the August rioters has 10+ convictions already.
Have you seen the Lord's prayer 2011?
QuoteOur father,
Who art in prison,
Mum don't know his name,
Thy riots come,
Read it in ‘The Sun’
In Birmingham , as it is in London.-
Give us this day our giro cheque
And forgive us our looting,
As we’re happy to loot those who defend stuff against us,
Lead us not into employment, But deliver us free housing,
For thine is the Reebok, The Burberry & Barcardi,
Forever and ever,
Innit.