"Everything is a dildo if you're brave enough!"
That should be an old chestnut to most of those who grew up on the internet, but this chap may have taken it a nudge too far...
https://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/gloucester-news/bomb-squad-called-gloucestershire-royal-6298076
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Seems perfectly reasonable to me
https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/man-caught-trying-to-have-sex-with-bicycle-962731
With 3 weeks off at Xmas I'm hoping not to make the news in an article like that. Although.....I really do like my road bike.