Dead Men Walking

dMw Chit Chat => The Beer Bar => It's my Birthday! => Topic started by: Gh0st Face Killah on April 21, 2004, 06:21:03 PM

Title: Is your wife or girlfriend a lapdancer?
Post by: Gh0st Face Killah on April 21, 2004, 06:21:03 PM
Guys, your wife or girlfriend could secretly be moonlighting as a lap dancer -- and you don't have a clue!

Surveys show that one in 25 college coeds now take it all off to help pay their tuition. And the number of married women dancing in strip clubs nationwide is estimated to be close to 10 million -- many shucking down to their birthday suits without their husbands' knowledge or consent.

"Today, many women see nothing wrong with using their bodies to make extra cash," says a sociologist.

"You may think that you've landed Miss Innocent, but if you're in a relationship with a young woman with a nice figure, there's a good chance that in her spare time, she's grinding her G-string-clad backside in some stranger's lap."

Here, from experts, are 10 signs that your lady is a closet lap dancer:

VAMPISH WALK. A once-awkward, wholesome, girl-next-door type who now swivels her hips in an exaggerated manner -- and has no trouble strutting about in six-inch heels -- fits the profile of a stripper.

COARSE LANGUAGE. If your lady starts cussing like a sailor, it's a good bet she picked up the bad habit from her low-class "colleagues" backstage.

FAVORS SEXY UNDERWEAR. A gal who used to complain about how "uncomfortable" she felt in thongs and suddenly has an undies drawer chock full of them may now be used to wearing a G-string hours at a time.

SLUTTY BODY LANGUAGE. When your mate has to pick up something from the ground, does she kneel like a lady -- or bend over, flaunting her wares?

SUDDENLY HAS MONEY FOR "LITTLE EXTRAS." She starts showing up with fancy earrings, designer shoes and other items you didn't pay for.

OVERLY FLIRTATIOUS WITH YOUR PALS. You may spot her perched on a buddy's lap at a cocktail party, making small talk. This could be a position she's grown very comfortable with.

ALWAYS HAS PLENTY OF DOLLAR BILLS ON HAND. Or when she gets change back at the supermarket, she may reflexively tuck it in the band of her underwear.

DANCES DIRTY. A gal who wiggles around in the laps of strange men for cash is likely to fall into raunchy, groin-to-butt moves on the dance floor.

WON'T TELL YOU WHERE SHE WORKS. Says she has a "great new part-time job working as a cocktail waitress," but won't tell you where she works.

ODDLY IMMODEST. In the past, she never even undressed in front of the dog, but now she waltzes by the window nude without a second thought.
Title: Is your wife or girlfriend a lapdancer?
Post by: Stryker on April 22, 2004, 11:02:58 AM
Funny, thats more like a description of my ideal gal  :dribble:  :huh:
Title: Is your wife or girlfriend a lapdancer?
Post by: smilodon on April 22, 2004, 05:49:28 PM
My significant other works at For Your Eyes Only (Table Dancing Club).

Sadly she's a cleaner  :(
Title: Is your wife or girlfriend a lapdancer?
Post by: DuVeL on April 22, 2004, 08:54:57 PM
I was already thinking, darn, where did she learn that. Now she's buying me beer.  :wub:
Title: Is your wife or girlfriend a lapdancer?
Post by: Rabbi Bob on April 22, 2004, 09:05:14 PM
QuoteCOARSE LANGUAGE. If your lady starts cussing like a sailor, it's a good bet she picked up the bad habit from her low-class "colleagues" backstage.

It has been researched whether or not this habit can also be picked up by taking sailors home with you after work.  As a former sailor....

Wait..nevermind..too incriminating  :lol:
Title: Is your wife or girlfriend a lapdancer?
Post by: Stryker on April 26, 2004, 10:28:00 AM
I think the answer to this thread topic is:

"I can only hope so"  :dribble: