A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she
laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and
listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook
his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? "Yes, I'm sure. The duck
is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure", she protested. "I
mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just
be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned
a few moments later with a black Labrador retriever. As the duck's
owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to
bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out and returned a few moments
later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also
sniffed the bird from its beak to its tail and back again. The cat sat back
on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled
out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but
as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys, and
produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner,
still in shock, took the bill. "£450!"
she cried. "£450" just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the
bill would have been £30. But with the Lab Report and the CAT scan,
it all adds up."
:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:
Keep em coming Ron a bloody classic!