I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault. Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me. If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it. First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. What lies behind us and what lies before us, are only small matters compared to what lies within us. It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. No matter what looms ahead, if you can eat today, enjoy today, mix good cheer with friends today enjoy it and bless God for it. Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. While we are postponing, life speeds by. Give me chastity and continence, but not yet Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be. Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. It's kind of fun to do the impossible. We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! God, please save me from your followers! Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. Hatch a dream and then believe it. When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite. There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher. In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. No one can earn a million dollars honestly. The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows. There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. Give me a museum and I'll fill it. In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is. Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. If a man does his best, what else is there? I would have made a good Pope. A book may lie dormant for fifty years or for two thousand years in a forgotten corner of a library, only to reveal, upon being opened, the marvels or the abysses that it contains, or the line that seems to have been written for me alone. In this respect the writer is not different from any other human being: whatever we say or do can have far-reaching consequences. Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so. Hope is like a road in the country: there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence. His ignorance is encyclopedic I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it. Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. No matter what looms ahead, if you can eat today, enjoy today, mix good cheer with friends today enjoy it and bless God for it. Do, or do not There is no 'try'. All right, Brain, I don't like you and you don't like me -- so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. If a man does his best, what else is there? Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves. Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is compassion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless. Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street. You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down. No dictator, no invader, can hold an imprisoned population by force of arms forever. There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom. Against that power, governments and tyrants and armies cannot stand. All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. If a man does his best, what else is there? Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'. I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better. The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back. No one can earn a million dollars honestly. People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life. How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself. How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself. We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough? Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves. The man who says I told you so is making an excuse for not expressing his position clearly in the first place. Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life. The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. Hope is like a road in the country: there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence. The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel. Everything has been figured out, except how to live. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend. Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure -- hooking up with fat, hairy girls. Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down. Maybe this world is another planet's Hell. I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both. Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains. Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend. Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
It is always said that I'm full of s**t! Proof! ^
bored after it started repeating :)
And my personal favourite:
Old chinese proverb says man who pisses into wind gets his own back :)
How did it take to type all of that?
It took me longer then a minute, but nice.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Makes a change from single smilies I suppose. ;)
QuoteOriginally posted by OldBloke@Mar 9 2005, 04:19 PM
Makes a change from single smilies I suppose. ;)
[post=79278]Quoted post[/post]
:)
you forgot "never play leapfrog with a unicorn"
:P
QuoteOriginally posted by Doorman@Mar 9 2005, 07:14 PM
:)
[post=79295]Quoted post[/post]
Rent-a-stoolpigeon at your service. :)
I'll wait for the film!