A young man from Liverpool walked into the local dole office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I’ve been on the dole for years now and think it’s about time I found a job."
The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We just had a job come in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around a big black Mercedes, and the suits, shirts and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holiday trips. The salary package is £200,000 a year."
The young man said, "You're bullshitting me man!"
The man behind the counter said, "Yeah, well you f**king started it."
"Two Scousers are on holiday in Africa, hanging out on the
riverbank. Suddenly a crocodile swims past with a blokes head in its
mouth. "f**kin' ell Terry, did you see that fella?" "I did Barry -
and the flash bastard's got a LaCoste sleeping bag"
(http://www.jokefile.co.uk/odds/New%20Folder/Liverpool%2003.jpg)