Dead Men Walking

Forum Archive 2023 => dMw's Community Centre => Community Archive => Laugh? I nearly started. => Topic started by: Gh0st Face Killah on January 09, 2003, 03:24:31 PM

Title: There are some idiots out there
Post by: Gh0st Face Killah on January 09, 2003, 03:24:31 PM
8 Morons of  2002

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY  PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership.  He received a $26 million  severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking  intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland,  Californiaspent two hours attempting  to subdue a
gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home.  After  firing ten
tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing
beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give
yourself  up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An  Illinois man, pretending to have a  gun, kidnapped a motorist and
forced him to drive to two different automated  teller machines, where
in the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own  bank
accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY! man walked into a  Topeka,  Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for  all the money in the cash drawer.  Apparently, the take was too
small,  so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for
three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY  THAT???
Police in  Los  Angeles had good luck with a  robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a lineup.   When detectives asked each
man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me  all your money or I'll
shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I  said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!"  "Is this her first child?"
the doctor asked. "No!" the  man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto,  California, Steven Richard King was  arrested for trying to
hold up a Bank of America branch without a  weapon.  King used a thumb
and a finger to simulate a gun, but  unfortunately, he failed to keep
his hand in his pocket.   (hellllllooooooo!)

8. THE GRAND FINALE
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour
east of  Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were
having a problem.  No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get
their brand new 22 ft. boat going.  It was very sluggish in almost every
maneuver, no matter how much power was applied.

After about an hour of trying to make  it go, they putted to a nearby
marina, thinking someone there could tell  them what was wrong.  A
thorough topside check revealed everything in  perfect working
condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and  down, and the
prop was the correct size and pitch.  So, one of the marina  guys jumped
in the water to check underneath.  He came up choking on water,  he was
laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER... THIS IS TRUE .... Under the  boat,
still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

Good to see there are idiots out there to keep the rest of us amused :D
Title: There are some idiots out there
Post by: Doorman on January 09, 2003, 03:32:29 PM
I just had to lift that lot! Marvelous. ROFLMIYTREDCBO.
Title: There are some idiots out there
Post by: FBG on January 09, 2003, 03:33:53 PM
thats class that is. :P
Title: There are some idiots out there
Post by: sheepy on January 09, 2003, 04:06:55 PM
sweet :D
Title: There are some idiots out there
Post by: Tufty on January 09, 2003, 04:42:05 PM
what in the world does ROFLMIYTREDCBO mean?  8O
Title: There are some idiots out there
Post by: OldBloke on January 09, 2003, 05:35:16 PM
It's Romulan for 'Chuckle'.
Title: There are some idiots out there
Post by: Doorman on January 10, 2003, 09:00:14 AM
QuoteIt's Romulan for 'Chuckle'.

You aint as dumb as you look.  :D
Title: There are some idiots out there
Post by: MAD_ness on January 10, 2003, 12:47:11 PM
:D  :D

GEMS !!
Title: There are some idiots out there
Post by: Gandalf on January 10, 2003, 01:03:08 PM
notice how all these 'Morons' come from the US  :lol: