Dead Men Walking

Forum Archive 2023 => dMw's Community Centre => Community Archive => Laugh? I nearly started. => Topic started by: Vincentvega on July 03, 2005, 05:16:43 PM

Title: want a job at McDonalds?
Post by: Vincentvega on July 03, 2005, 05:16:43 PM
This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!


NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries

 
 :roflmao:
Title: want a job at McDonalds?
Post by: DarkAngel on July 03, 2005, 05:58:10 PM
lol pure quality :)
Title: want a job at McDonalds?
Post by: Doris on July 03, 2005, 07:24:43 PM
Thats Hippys Apllication Form right?
Title: want a job at McDonalds?
Post by: Jamoe on July 03, 2005, 07:51:09 PM
that rings a bell, i think I've seen that befor.

still  :lmfao:  all the same :)
Title: want a job at McDonalds?
Post by: Dingo on July 03, 2005, 09:30:23 PM
QuoteOriginally posted by Jamoe@Jul 3 2005, 06:51 PM
that rings a bell, i think I've seen that befor.
[post=87673]Quoted post[/post]
[/b]

Jeez, can't even remember who you are applying to these days eh? :D
Title: want a job at McDonalds?
Post by: Jamoe on July 04, 2005, 11:22:19 AM
QuoteOriginally posted by Dingo@Jul 3 2005, 08:30 PM
Jeez, can't even remember who you are applying to these days eh? :D
[post=87678]Quoted post[/post]
[/b]
:lmfao:

Actualy I did once apply for a Job at McDonalds and even the Co-op.  Didn't get either  :huh:

thier loss   :D
Title: want a job at McDonalds?
Post by: TeaLeaf on July 04, 2005, 01:19:44 PM
QuoteOriginally posted by Jamoe@Jul 3 2005, 07:51 PM
that rings a bell, i think I've seen that befor.
That's because there are at least 520 links (http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=Company's+President+or+Vice+President.+But+seriously%2C+whatever's+available+mcdonald's&sourceid=mozilla-search&start=0&start=0&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official) to it on Google.  :blink:

TL.
Title: want a job at McDonalds?
Post by: Phog on July 04, 2005, 09:43:46 PM
QuoteOriginally posted by TeaLeaf@Jul 4 2005, 12:19 PM
That's because there are at least 520 links (http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=Company's+President+or+Vice+President.+But+seriously%2C+whatever's+available+mcdonald's&sourceid=mozilla-search&start=0&start=0&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official) to it on Google. :blink:

TL.
[post=87699]Quoted post[/post]
[/b]
Still good all the same :D

 :roflmao:
Title: want a job at McDonalds?
Post by: GhostMjr on July 05, 2005, 12:36:02 PM
lol! I remember that one ;). Unfortunately my mcDonald's application wasn't full of such aweinspiring humour but i am still there so I must be doing something right ;)
Title: want a job at McDonalds?
Post by: da_Ricci on July 05, 2005, 07:43:55 PM
Good 1  :roflmao:  :lmfao: