Bad puns ... bring'em on

Started by Dr Sadako, October 23, 2008, 12:46:24 PM

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Dr Sadako

October 23, 2008, 12:46:24 PM
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

 An elevator makes ghosts happy because it lifts the spirits.

  Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's    all right now.
-=[dMw]=-Dr "Doc" Sadako

"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." Albert Einstein

DuVeL

#1
October 23, 2008, 12:51:13 PM
What's an archeologist?
Someone whose career is in ruins.
 
What does a king do when he burps?
He issues a royal pardon.
 
How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb in a tree and act like a nut.
 
How do you have a party in outer space?
You plan-et.
 
What kind of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic?
Iceberg.
 
Why would you take a hammer to bed?
So you could hit the sack.
Survivor of LAN V, VI, VIII, IX, X, XII, XIV, XVI, XVIII, XX, XXIV, XXX, XXXII, XXXIV and XXXVI so far...
[QUOTE]Lionheart; Grolsch to DuVeL is like spinache to Popeye [/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Cheesepuff...A cyborg is sent from the future on a deadly mission. He has to kill Ninja_Freak, a young Man whose life will have a great significance in years to come.Ninja has only one protector - DuVeL - also sent from the future. The Terminator uses his exceptional intelligence and strength to find Ninja_Freak & attempt to terminate him.
[/QUOTE]

Anonymous

#2
October 23, 2008, 12:53:49 PM
I tried to make the wife laugh last night by telling her puns. I told her ten puns but the first one didn't make her laugh, nor the second; in fact no pun in ten did.

:getmecoat:

delanvital

#3
October 23, 2008, 02:01:35 PM
Quote from: BlueBall;248392I tried to make the wife laugh last night by telling her puns. I told her ten puns but the first one didn't make her laugh, nor the second; in fact no pun in ten did.

:getmecoat:

:lmfao: oi what style.. :D

Penfold

#4
October 23, 2008, 02:38:20 PM
Two aerials met on a rootop, fell in love and got married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.

Penfold

#5
October 23, 2008, 02:40:06 PM
So I went to the dentist. He said 'Say Aaah.'
I said 'Why?'
He said 'My dog's died.'

Zootoxin

#6
October 23, 2008, 03:03:26 PM
William Shakespear walks in to a bar
The landlord shouts
"Get out ya Bard!"

Browne

#7
October 23, 2008, 03:28:49 PM
This morning, the wife served me breakfast in her slippers, I told her I'd prefer a  plate next time,

When the postman called, she opened the door in her nightdress, funny place for a door


I'm done!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

So much  Time, So Little to do.

DogMeat

#8
October 23, 2008, 06:42:50 PM
John Cleese's Three Rules of Comedy:

1.  No puns.

2.  No puns.

3.  No puns.

That is all.  :narnar:
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Some pixies. No cars. No talent.

b00n

#9
October 23, 2008, 07:02:10 PM
Some I got in an email (may require knowledge of scottish dialect :D)

A Scotsman in London is having trouble phoning his sister from a telephone box. So he calls the operator who asks in a plummy voice:
'Is there money in the box?'
'Naw, it's just me,' he replies.

How many Spanish guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just Juan.

A Glasgow man - steaming and skint - is walking down Argyle Street when he spots a guy tinkering with the engine of his car.
'What's up Jimmy?' he asks.
'Piston broke,' Jimmy replies.
'Aye, me an' aw...'

A pregnant teenage girl phones her dad at midnight and says:
'Can you come and get me? I think ma water has broken'
'Okay,' says her dad. 'Where are you ringing from?'
'Fae my knickers tae ma feet. '

A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair.
'Comfy?' asks the dentist.
'Govan,' she replies.

A guy walks into an antiques shop and says: 'How much for the set of antlers?'
'Two hundred quid,' says the bloke behind the counter.
'That's affa dear!' says the guy.
'Aye yer right!' replies the bloke.
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