A letter from Terry Jones Of Monty Python fame

[Gh0st Face Killah]

A letter to the London observer from Terry Jones (yes, of Monty Python)


>
> Sunday January 26, 2003
>
>
>
> I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's
> running out of patience. And so am I! For some time now I've been really
> pi** ed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street.
>
> Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me
> queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me,
> but so far I haven't been able to discover what. I've been round to his
> place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's got everything well
> hidden. That's how devious he is. As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I
> know, I just know - from very good sources - that he is, in reality, a
> Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them that if we don't
act
> first, he'll pick us off one by one.
>
> Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the
> police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need
> evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours.  They'll come up
> with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a
> pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising his
> plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel will be secretly
murdering
> people. Since I'm the only one in the street with a decent range of
> automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the peace. But until
> recently that's been a little difficult.
>
> Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is
> run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want! And
let's
> face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq is the only
> way to bring about international peace and security. The one certain way
> to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting the US or the UK
is
> to bomb a few Muslim countries that have never threatened us.
>
> That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and kill his wife and
> children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave us
in
> peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way.  Mr Bush
> makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that
> Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction
-
even
> if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as much justification for
> killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq.
Mr
>
> Bush's long-term aim is to make the world a safer place by eliminating
> 'rogue states' and 'terrorism'. It's such a clever long-term aim because
> how can you ever know when you've achieved it?  How will Mr Bush know
when
> he's wiped out all terrorists? When every single terrorist is dead? But
then a
> terrorist is only a terrorist once he's committed an act of terror. What
> about would-be terrorists?  These are the ones you really want to
> eliminate, since most of  the known terrorists, being suicide bombers,
> have already eliminated themselves.
>
> Perhaps Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a future
> terrorist? Maybe he can't be sure he's achieved his objective until every
> Muslim fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Muslims might
> convert to fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe thing to do would
> be for Mr Bush to eliminate all Muslims?
>
> It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are just the tip of
> the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I don't
like
> and who - quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be really
> safe until I've wiped them all out. My wife says I might be going too far
> but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the
> United States. That shuts her up.
>
> Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough
reason
> for the President, it's good enough for me. I'm going to give the whole
> street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand over
all
>
> aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and interstellar
> terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them over nicely and say
> 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire street to kingdom come. It's
> just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing - and, in contrast to
what
> he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street.

[smilodon]

I knew Jones was as big a fag as that Chapman!
As a violence obsessed games playing male, I'm obviously certain we should Kill Them All!