What if?

[Gandalf]

At a recent computor expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computor industry with the auto industry and stated, If G.M. hsd kept up with the technology like the computor industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that go 1,000 miles to the gallon".

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a Press release stating :- If G.M. had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics :-

1.    For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2.    Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3.    Occasionally your car would die on the motorway for no reason.  You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all the windows, shut off the the car engine, restart it, open the windows before you could continue.  For some reason you would simply accept this.
4.    Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre, such as a left turn , this would cause the car to shut down and refuse to start, in which caseyou would have to reinstall the engine.
5.    Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNT", but then you would have to buy more seats.
6.    Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would only run on 5% of the roads.
7.    The oil, water, temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "Genaral Protection Fault" warning light.
8.    New seats would would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9.    The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure" before deploying.
10.  Occasionally, for no reasonwhatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until simultaneously lifted the doorhandle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11.  G.M. would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a G.M. subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want them.  Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, G.M. would become target for investigation by the Justice Dept. 12.  Every time G.M. introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13.  You'd press the "Start" button to shut off the engine.