Morning Poem

[Gh0st Face Killah]

I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill,
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window
And crushed his  head.







I'm not a morning person.

[tugs]

Shame the last line doesn't scan. "And crushed his tiny head" would be so much better.

 

Otherwise: 9/10, good effort.

[Jamoe]

i think the last line is fine, it sort of adds to the bleakness of the line. "and crushed his tiny head" makes it sound humerous. imo

[tugs]

You mean it wasn't funny? ;-)

[Jamoe]

i don know  :huh:

either way i liked it

[Gh0st Face Killah]

It did actually say TANGOing head.


Removed for reasons of taste and yeah I know that meant it didn't scan.