One for radders

[Gh0st Face Killah]

New Zealand Bog Graffitti


Friends don't let friends take home ugly men

Women's restroom,Leftfield, Auckland, NZ

 

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?

Park bench, Coromandel, NZ

 

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.

---Men's Room, Iguacu, Parnell, NZ

 

Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married!

---Women's restroom, Births,Deaths & Marriages, Christchurch, NZ

 

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tyres or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

---Women's restroom, Lincoln Green, Henderson, NZ

 

No wonder you always go home alone

.---Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Crow Bar, Auckland, NZ

 

Beauty is only a light switch away

.--- 2nd cubicle on right, Bass Bar, Victoria St, Auckland

 

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.

---Restroom, Gynaecology Dept, Waitakere Hospital

 

Please don't throw your cigarette butts in the urinal. It makes them soggy and hard to light.

--- The Janitor (O week), Shadows Bar, Auckland University

 

What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.

---Men's restrooms, Police stations, NZ wide

[Doorman]

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.

---Men's Room, Iguacu, Parnell, NZ

My favourite.  

[Rad_Man]

Since we are in NZ now look at whats circulating among the colonies!!!!!! - man i laughed when I read these :-)

Q: What's the difference between the All Blacks and a Tea Bag?
A: The Tea Bag stays in the Cup Longer.

Q: Why doesn't Joe Rokocoko need any pre Tour travel injections?
A: Because he never catches anything.

The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow
White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a
faint voice is heard obviously shouting out. "New Zealand is good enough
to win the World Cup." Snow White thinks to herself 'Well at least I
know Dopey is alive."

Did you hear about the New Zealand politician who was found dead on his
bed in an All Blacks Rugby jersey on Sunday night in Kings Cross? The
police had to dress him in frilly women's underwear to save his poor
family from further embarrassment.

Four Sydney surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, "you
know accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them
up everything inside them is numbered. The second says, "no way
librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical
order." The third surgeon shaking his head says, "You should all try
electricians everything inside them is colour coded!" The fourth and
last says, "you're all wrong, I prefer All Black rugby players. They're
spineless, heartless, gutless, and their heads and arses are completely
interchangeable."

Q: What do you call an New Zealander at the RWC final?
A: Ref.

In the next edition of Webster's dictionary under 'complacent' it reads
"New Zealand All Blacks RWC Semi final, 2003." In the same edition under
'deluded' is "all their supporters!"

What's the difference between an arsonist and the All blacks rugby team?
An arsonist never loses his last match!

What do you call 15 boofheads sitting around watching the Rugby World
Cup Final? The All Blacks.

[Doorman]

Poms are coming in for some stick from the Aussies and I have to admit this story, apparently true, made me hoot!

   During an England training session, one of the players noticed a suspicious looking white powdery substance at the end of the field.
   Coach Clive Woodward suspended practice while police investigated. After analysis, scientists determined that the white substance, unknown to the players, was the tryline. Practice resumed when officials decided it was unlikely the team would encounter the substance again.

Just to redress the balance: What's the difference between an Aussie wedding and an Aussie funeral?
There's one less drunk at a funeral.

And...What's the difference between an Australian and a computer?
You only have to punch information into a computer once.

[Rad_Man]

Very Good - keep em coming -  and go WHITE for tomorrow

[Doorman]

Hark! I hear nothing! Is that the erstwhile loud mouthed Aussies gone all quiet?
Engerland! No, stop right there. One mustn't gloat, not very English.  :lmfao:

[delanvital]

Figured I would bump the excellent top post, with another post that apparently isn't a repost despite being another internet classic:

The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from and old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."

Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.

If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament
Building
is an American flag.

All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or
purple.

Almonds are members of the peach family.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

A snail can sleep for 3 years.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from
each
salad served in first-class.

China has more English speakers than the United States.

The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896.
Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

Did you know you share your birthday with at least 9 other million
people in
the world?

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body
to
squirt blood 30 feet.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE.

The longest word in the English language is 1909 letters long and it
refers
to a distinct part of DNA.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

You know that you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than
by a
poisonous spider.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each
gallon
of diesel that it burns.

Cat's urine glows under a black light.

In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike
factory workers in Malaysia combined.

One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers
in
the 30s lobbied against hemp farmers-they saw it as competition.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you fart consistently
for
6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an
atomic bomb.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have about ten.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears
never
stop growing.

If Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would
stand
seven feet, two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a
normal
human's neck.

Feb 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.