Overheard in Dublin

[Browne]

On the No. 77 bus passing by a new Lidl Store in Greenhills road (the air full of Hash smoke as usual)
Stoned bloke No. 1: Look, ders de new Lidl
Stoned Bloke No. 2: Agh yeah, shure dere poppin up everywhere
No 1: Is it Liddle or loidle or Leedle?
 
Pause
 
No 2: I dunno but i know de udder ones called Aldi
No 1: Anyway, de beers durt cheep dere it is
 
Also overheard in  a supermarket in Tallagh (Dublin):
 
A few employees in the Supermarket were throwing frozen turkeys into a freezer when an auld dear says "ah lads be careful with dem turkeys, they'll be all bruised when they thaw out"
 
to which one of the lads says "Ah Jaysus missus, dont worry about it, they cant feel a thing"

[Browne]

At a wedding in Cork the best man was giving his speech, and, after all the praise for the Bride & groom, it was praise for the bridesmaids..." have you ever seen such beautiful, georgeous bridesmaids, fantastic"
 
Voice from the back of the dining hall: "ya should have gone to Specsavers"
 
 
Again, on the No 77 bus, in Dublin: Three lads passed out on the back seat of the bus, two old ladies observing:
 
Mary: "Jaysus Josie aren't dem drugs terrible"
Josie: "Mary, tell ya de truth, if it wasn't for the Valium I'd be on drugs meself"