Government Advice

[Benny]

http://www.mtbe.co.uk/dear-mr-cameron-t13812.html?sid=072f7e918b65e49545b058d021e72023

I like this.

[target]

:withstupid:

[ArithonUK]

Benny,

This is funny, but I got a "response" email to this one titled "Nice ideas, but.."

1) They MUST retire. Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed  

• There is a reason that a percentage of people are always unemployed. Being offered work doesn't mean the offer is wanted or will be accepted. They're unemployed for a reason!

2) They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million cars ordered - car Industry fixed

• Certainly! Show me a British car and I will. Oh, wait..

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - housing Crisis fixed

• Nope. People buying houses at the already inflated prices would just push the prices higher and make property more unobtainable for our children. Only a price crash or a long-term price freeze will fix this.

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -  crime rate fixed  

• Because all crime is committed by teenagers? Again with the FAIL. Will sending Billy the 45 year old burglar or Peter pedophile to University sort them out? I don't think so!

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week ..... and there's your money back in duty/tax, etc  

• £100 of fags & beer is £10,000 of NHS money spent later on cancer treatment, amputation, obesity related illness and liver transplants. No saving there.

6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy *******s to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.

• USA is 4% of the worlds population and produces 40% of the worlds carbon emissions and they won't sign up to any "green" targets. If the UK turned off the lights and went back to the stone age, China & USA would fill in for us in months. Try prosecuting a US company. See how India got on with Union Carbide after Bophal. Good luck with that.

Burst my bubble it did!

[T-Bag]

Nice idea, but none of those would work in the real world. Rather than bailing out the banks, they should have bailed out the customers. Here's the money you had put away sensibly in an account please move it to a more responsible bank X,Y and Z are government approved.

A more sensible list would be:
1) Make everyone work for their benefits, even if that job is completely pointless like moving boxes from one side of a warehouse to the other (and next shift's job is to move the boxes back) they're being paid whether they work or not, might as well get them out the house and accustomed to working. If they don't accept one of those jobs and still need government aid they get food vouchers and can stay at a hostel until they can afford to move out.

2) Cars...promote electric cars by providing the same incentives for solar and wind energy, but make the incentives higher for the cars assembled in the UK.

3) Housing is tough, it needs to crash at some point...higher council tax on rental houses?

4) Sending everyone to university leads to greater unemployment and more competition for jobs requiring higher education. We still need bin men and plumbers. Incentivise apprentiships in place of university (requires less money outgoing in the form of student loans).

5) Legalise and tax Ecstasy and Marijuana (both of which will reduce crime and increase money to the government). Better regulation of the strength of drugs reduces the potential risks from "super strains" and cutting with other substances.

6) More Nuclear means less Carbon. If electric cars are running off carbon free electricity, that's win-win.

...Sorry to spoil the fun.