poor planning

[Zok]

Insurance Report


This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the American Insurance Journal. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.



Dear Sir: "I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning"  as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I was alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly more than 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley,  which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form, that I weigh 135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say,  I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains  the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed down slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers on my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.

Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50lbs.

I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building.


In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of  bricks and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks,  in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind  and  let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel beginning  its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your questions.

[BigFatCat]

Ever seen Mythbusters on Discovery (?) Channel?

Gotta love the compressed air Chicken Cannon.

[DarkAngel]

OUCH  :blink:

[Phog]

lol!!  :devil:
poor chap

[Gh0st Face Killah]

Now thats a proper numpty!!! :lmfao:  :lmfao:

Nice one Zok.


Compressed air chicken cannon is used to test  jet engines surviving an impact from birds. Its a british invention and the americans bought it but had to be told to defrost the chickens first!! :lmfao:  :lmfao:

[DogMeat]

Murphy And The Bricks

Dear sir I write this note to you
To tell you of my plight
For at the time of writing it
I'm not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue
My face a deathly grey
And I write this note to tell you
Why I am not at work today

Whilst working on the fourteenth floor
Some bricks I had to clear
But to toss them down from such a height
Was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased
He is an awkward sod
And he said i had to cart them
Down the ladder in my hod

Well moving all these bricks by hand
It was so very slow
SoI hoisted up a barrell
And secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job
I was to blind to see
That a barrell full of building bricks
Was heavier than me

And so when I untied the rope
The barrell fell like lead
But clinging tightly to the rope
I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket
'til to my dismay I found
That half way up I met
The bloody barrell coming down

The barrell broke my shoulder
As to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top
I banged the pulley with my head
Still clinging tightly to the rope
From this almighty blow
Whilst the barrell spilled out half it's bricks
Some fourteen floors below

 Now when these bricks had fallen
From the barrell to the floor
I then outweighed the barrell
And so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope
My body racked with pain
And halfway down I met
The bloody barrell once again

The force of this collision
Halfway down the office block
Caused multiple abrasions
And a nasty case of shock
Still clinging tightly to the rope
I fell towards the ground
And landed on the broken bricks
The barrell had scattered round

I lay there bleeding on the ground
I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrell hit the pulley wheel
And then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me
I didn't have a hope
As I lay there bleeding on the ground
I let go of the bloody rope

The barrell now being heavier
It started down once more
And landed right across me
As I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm
And I can only say
I hope you'll understand
Why I am not at work today.


I used to sing this in clubs 15 - 20 yrs ago.

D "Blind Lemon" M

[BigFatCat]

Originally posted by Gh0st Face Killah@Jan 4 2005, 06:50 PM
Compressed air chicken cannon is used to test jet engines surviving an impact from birds. Its a british invention and the americans bought it but had to be told to defrost the chickens first

Isn't it funny that the Yanks in that program said it was a US invention and the British had to be told to defrost the chickens? :huh:
They then went on to test frozen and thawed chickens at varied velocities to state that they all hit the target with the same impulse and there is negligible difference?
Trying to make baking powder explode due to doggy wee wee was funny though.
http://www.adamsavage.com/tvshow.html

[DarkAngel]

Compressed air chicken cannon is used to test jet engines surviving an impact from birds. Its a british invention and the americans bought it but had to be told to defrost the chickens first

It was a guy in the British AirForce he designed the jet engine and tried to patent it but the Air Force said no. So he didnt make any money  <_<