Matrix Revolutions

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by Stryker@Nov 6 2003, 09:27 AM
LOTR bites ass.... the fekin book come bible was boring.... and the silver screen version is boring.

Allow me to translate...

He said "Stryker is a thoroughly nice chap that has never shot one of his own team mates. Not ever, not even in the back by mistake."

To me, the two statements are equivalent  :narnar:

[Stryker]

your a marked man  :ph34r:

[FATAL]

see it today great film and explains alot , but i recon after the first one they see them money signs and hay after matrix 3 the storyline is still open ready 4 another money   money   money   shame really  


i am the chocolate balloon

[DarkAngel]

I think the 2nd matrix is better than the first, and lotr 2 was crap way too long and booring tho the first 1 was great, but im thinking the 200k army attacks gonna be good in the 3rd one. Gonna hopefuly see revolutions tomorrow.  

[Stryker]

I think the matrix did too good a job of setting people up for answers to such grand questions.  Seeing on the bbc news site the comments of people who've watched it I really do think the muppets went into the cinema thinking they were going to find the meaning of life!  and then when disapointed slate the film.

[Benny]

number 22 made me chuckle. If you are slightly simple, then don't look....SPOILER....at the beginning, but not that bad.

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/matrix50.html

Hey we all know the good will out...won't it?...suckers?

[A Twig]

HA HA HA I like point seven. Does he not know that Aliyaah died in a plane crash?  :huh:
Oh and point  38 - You can store energy from solar power in cells so u can still function at night.

[Aga]

I saw it last night and really liked it. Could have done with less romance and more machine guns and high kicking though.

It doesn't have to be deep and meaningful to be enjoyable you know. Take casual sex as an example.

[A Twig]

I dont find casual sex particularly enjoyable...


(Jus kiddin  

[ChimpBoy]

Empire Review

A review from empire that seems to sum up exactly how I feel about this near train-wreck of a movie

I think this is going to be one of those films that, like Star Wars Episode 1, is impressive at first glance but quickly fades from consciousness.....

[Gh0st Face Killah]

From The self made Critic.

Second verse, same as the first. A little bit louder and a little bit worse.

The Matrix Revolutions is out.

Ugh.

How bad is The Matrix Revolutions? Well, it kinda makes The Matrix Reloaded seem like not so bad a movie. And that's bad.

For those of you who have fallen off a cliff, The Matrix Revolutions is the third and, thankfully, final film in the amazingly disappointing Matrix trilogy. Revolutions picks up exactly where Reloaded left off, with Keanu and evil-human-who-is-actually-evil-computer-program lying on a table. The machines are two shakes and a wiggle away from penetrating Zion and killing all humanity, and Trinity is losing more and more weight thanks to the magic of Jenny Craig.

Basically, Revolutions tells two stories. In story one, everybody except for Keanu and Trinity fight the Machines in Zion, struggling to save the human race in a desperate race against the inevitable. In story two, Keanu and Skeletorina head off together to make the first story completely moot.

Along the way, everybody pontificates.

The Matrix Reloaded was a really long, dull series of philosophical ruminations in between a few action sequences, some of which were cool. The Matrix Revolutions pretty much leaves the action alone and just chats.

Not that there aren't action sequences, there are. Many. But, well, they hardly spend any time in The Matrix in the first place. And the real world is far less interesting. An army of people strapped into something that looks like Sigourney Weaver's rig at the end of Aliens pointing, shouting, and dying. No big whoop.

Once again, however, the real problem with the film is all the damn chatty Kathys.

There's the Indian Guy who explains to Keanu that love is just a word and that the train is coming and that Keanu is a nice man and that he likes to eat Rice Crispies.

That goes on for fifteen minutes.

There's the return of The Frenchman who explains that he wants someone's eyes and that a deal is only a deal when both sides are dealing something that the other side wants to deal for and that he's a simpering sissy boy and that he likes to eat olives.

That goes on for another ten minutes. And finally ends with the hint of an action sequence that, of course, never happens. (They make a deal. But a deal that is a deal because both sides dealing are dealing from positions of.. ah screw it, have another olive.)

There's The Oracle. Who never shuts up. More nonsense about The One who is and/or will be The One until The One can be The Two or something like that.

She pops up all the damn time.

It goes on. Everybody has something important to say. Except the leads of the movie, who spend most of the time saying such witty lines as "Why?" "Who?" and "Really?"

Look, the philosophy is all nice and fun and cool, but My Dinner With Andre was more interesting.

The Matrix Revolutions continues to prove the old adage that special effects do not a movie make. Everyone goes through the motions in this one, as if they're just tired after making the first two films. The most inspired performance is turned in by Ian Bliss, who plays the guy-who-is-actual-the-computer-program because he gets to walk around talking like Hugo Weaving. And that's kinda cool.

If only the rest of the movie were as cool.

Basically, the filmmakers still think they're hot stuff. And they have a vision. And anyone who wanted to tell them that their vision was wrong could go jump in front of a bus.

Here's a tiny little thing which, in my humble opinion, puts it all into perspective. In between filming Reloaded and Revolutions, a tragedy struck the production with the sad death of Gloria Foster, who played The Oracle. Still, The Oracle had lots to do in the third movie, so they recast the part. They got someone who looks as much like Gloria as they could get. And then they wrote dialogue where The Orcale says "Yup. I look different. It happens. You make a choice and you look different. You'd look different too if you made a choice."

If it's me, and I have to do this, I either a) don't mention that The Oracle is a different person, or B) cast someone who looks TOTALLY DIFFERENT from my first Oracle. Trying to have it both ways just feels... forced.

The action scenes in The Matrix were revolutionary. The action sequences in The Matrix Reloaded were, if nothing else, occasionally fun to watch because you hadn't seen that stuff in a while. The action sequences in The Matrix Revolutions are downright lazy.

Like when Keanu and his woman fly towards a line of machine defenders and get away by... SPOILER ALERT .. flying up and over them. Because machines, I guess, can't handle chasing someone in three dimensions. Or something like that. Whatever. END OF SPOILER ALERT.

I can't believe I just issued a spoiler alert for The Matrix Revolutions. Here's another one.

SPOILER ALERT.

The movie sucks.

END OF SPOILER ALERT.

The movie just wanders all over the place. Like there's this huge titanic battle to end all battles in Zion. Goes on for 30 minutes straight, at least. And Keanu? Nowhere to be found. On a coffee break. Come on people, how can you have a huge blockbuster of a movie when your lead leaves the film for 30 minutes?

Instead, they try to build up emotional connections to minor characters. The girlfriend of one of the guys on the ship. The awkward little squirt whohero-worshipped Neo in Matrix 2. Some other people you really don't give hoot about.

Oh well, at least they cut out the music video this time.

Now that it's all done and we can look back on The Matrix Trilogy (coming as a box set to a Best Buy near you), we see that this really, really should have been one film. The Matrix. Done and done. Reloaded and Revolutions only soil what was once thought of as a work of art. We're all better off pretending they didn't happen.

The Matrix Revolutions gets 1 Babylon. And that's solely for the promise, hint, and remembrance of what was, once, a cinematic triumph.

[Anonymous]

OK I've read all that but still don't know if the film is any good :narnar:

[Salvatore Buttafacio]

it isint ... very very very very very bad <_<

[smilodon]

Originally posted by ChimpBoy@Nov 6 2003, 10:35 AM
The ending is a total kop-out with the architects comments seemingly ridiculous as they indicate self-destruction.

Spoiler Alert
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Just re read this bit. Lets not forget that the Architect isn't the "Supreme Being" he's a lowly program like the Oracle and Merovingian. If the Machines decided to call a peace then he's bound to go along with it If the big Machine boss tells him that's the way it's going to be then he's going to have to lump it and like it. And he should be glad that The Oracle pulled a fast one on Smith as he would have gone down with them all had Smith won the day

[DarkAngel]

still havent seen the movie should really go and see it my m8s say its crap but the special effects are brilliant and cant believe someone spoiled the end by telling me that "*************" dies dam them!!