My Leaving Letter

[Gh0st Face Killah]

My leaving letter:
Dear Co-Workers,
 
As many of you probably know, tommorw is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type "Tommorow is my last day."
 
For nearly as long as I've worked here, I've hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.
 
I would especially like to thank all of my managers: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.
 
Over the year and a half, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.
 
Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, "mostly satisfactory." That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after even a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of mostly satisfactory scotch.
 
And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.
 
But to those few souls with whom I've actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:
 
To Caulfield: I will always remember sharing lunch with you, despite having clearly labeled it with my name.
 
To Mairead: I will miss detecting your flatulence as much as you will clearly miss walking past my cubicle to deliver it.
 
To Linda: Best wishes on your ongoing campaign to popularize these "email forwards." I sincerely hope you receive that weekend full of good luck, that hug from an old friend, and that baby for your dusty womb.
 
And finally, to Kat: you were right - I tested positive. We'll talk later.
 
So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the individual who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience like a sponge and soak it up like a good woman, because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.
 
Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.
 
Very truly yours,
 
 
PS: I will be throwing myself a happy hour farewell party at the Oden 5.30 tommorow evening if anybody is interested in drinks!

[sulky_uk]

lol i leave my current post in two weeks hmm.....

[Blunt]

lol i leave my current post in two weeks hmm.....

They're untying you from the post?

Run away....save yourselves:crazy:

[FATAL]

sweet letter ghosty :roflmao:  i may have to take some ideas from that for my next letter of resignation

[Luminance]

hehe, that was fun to read

[sheepy]

ncie one

[Nefertem]

Nice on GFK

...
And finally, to Kat: you were right - I tested positive. We'll talk later.
 ...

:roflmao:

[delanvital]

Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

.. and quite good with words