Dear JohhnyAppleSeed

SecretSquirrel · August 09, 2002, 08:30:47 AM

I need some urgent advice please.

You've slept alot with other blokes - did it change your life forever ?

RadMan is begging me to share a room with him at the Lan.He promises he will sleep with his back to me and he will wash my socks and grime stained underpants and cook all the meals & washup - can i trust him or is this a wicked ploy?

Also, will i get pregnant?

My mum always taught me to stay away from dirty old men - and now i've become one i'm totally confused.

What shall i do?

Should i ask him to marry me?

Do i need to borrow Smiteys Pink Floral Frock?

I need your vast experience on these matters

Yours Truly

SecretSquirrel

Stryker · August 09, 2002, 09:16:58 AM

Depends on how much you drink I guess :lol:

FBG · August 09, 2002, 09:21:27 AM

its said 15 pints makes anything attractive.

JonnyAppleSeed · August 09, 2002, 10:06:35 AM

Ahh it is true .I have slept with may men in my time as have most people, but what you seem to be inferring to is some act of GAY passion of which I have no experience. The only advice I can give you is to think back to your childhood and they way your uncle used to play with you. It may be a bit like that but this time you are allowed to talk to the police

1) You may get pregnant, as I am not sure how good the sex change was (use protection!)
2) Dont feel pressured only go through with it if it feels like the right time
3) Dont borrow Smites dress I bet RadMan has something special picked out

Hope this helps

JonnyAppleSeed

SecretSquirrel · August 09, 2002, 10:39:39 AM

Thanks for the advice JAS much appreciated, i shall mull this over with a very wide & shallow thought

BTW i didnt intentionally try to besmearch your good character - Smitey made me do it :lol:

smite · August 09, 2002, 10:59:50 AM

Do squirrel and radders want to share a room?

This could be bad for all of us as you know what squirrel is like once he gets going poor radders wont get a rest and they will keep us up all night.
I think that squirrel should share a room with Tutonic yep he is a little young but he will soon whip squirrel into shape get done what needs doing then be off to sleep.
Or even Sheepy, sheepy wont take no shit he will prabably be so hammered he wouldnt care what was happening, or has sheepy got a nasty side that when he is pissed he likes to beat his women up (watch out there squirrel).
Jonnyappleseed seems up for it but just remember he is a pro at it and i dont think you could take the pure adrenaline he puts into his loving (its ok though i hear he has a needle dick).

No matter whoever shares with squirrel just remember he is your Bitch for the night he will have to do whatever you want to!! (i hear he likes it that way)

SecretSquirrel · August 09, 2002, 12:14:51 PM

I would just like to say a big thankyou all fellow team members for taking the time out of your obviously busy & hectic schedules to help me through my time of crisis and above all not taking the piss.

There have been some profound insights and many thoughtful & sensitive comments, particularily Smiteys Summary of the situation

Once again i thankyou & rest assured i would certainly recommend this forum to any of my bestest friends should they be requiring any kind of help.

MY TANGO :lol:

Rad_Man · August 09, 2002, 03:03:57 PM

Yur TANGO is mine

smite · August 09, 2002, 04:03:04 PM

[size=24]ROFL

U go radders make him squeeal :twisted:

JonnyAppleSeed · August 09, 2002, 04:27:08 PM

ss..... u may find a slight feeling of pain on entry,, but dont worry i have found out it dissapears as the bloud acts as a lubricant :lol:

OldBloke · August 09, 2002, 04:58:07 PM

/me starts to feel queasy :roll:

SecretSquirrel · August 12, 2002, 09:26:56 AM

Quotess..... u may find a slight feeling of pain on entry,, but dont worry i have found out it dissapears as the bloud acts as a lubricant :lol:

cheers JAS i'll bear all those wise words of experience in mind