Darwins 2006

[scot]

In case you haven't received them yet, here are this year's Darwin
 Awards -- the annual honor given to the person who improved the "gene
 pool" the most by killing themselves (or trying) in the most extraordinarily
 stupid way. As always, competition this year has been keen.
 And the candidates
 this year are.............
 
 * IN Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of
 water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate
 to retrieve his car keys.
 
 * A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he
 ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
 
 * Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had
 dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it.
 Beach-goers said Daniel
 Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had
 been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand.
 People on the beach on
 the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their
 way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him.
 It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while
 about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
 
 * Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell
face-first  through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was
 caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep
 his hands
 free)
 rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
 
* Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he
 won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded
 with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
 
 HONORABLE MENTION:
 * Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his  wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up
 in their car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple lit the
 dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen,
 but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.
 
 RUNNER UP:
 * TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when
 one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the
 Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew
 more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the
 bridge at 4:30AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they
 discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had
 continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of
 lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around > Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge.
 His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot
 off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river  water
  and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night.
 There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.
 
 AND THE WINNER:
 Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his

 constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than
 a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm
 finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of  poop!
 Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
 ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on
 him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked
 Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and
 lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on
 top of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern.
 "With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at
 least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he
suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that
 proves that "Sh!t happens!"

[Hippy]

The last one makes me sad.

[Doorman]

On it's way to all my mate.

[sheepy]

YaY For the darwin awards! telling us about funny deaths of the yanks YaY

[delanvital]

Darwin Awards always make me laugh.. while being a bit sad. But bungy jumping like that is just... fit for such an award  :roflmao:

[Penfold]

The one about the guy on the beach in the sand pit is sad - particularly as the same thing happened in Cornwall last August with a 3 year-old girl

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/4151632.stm

PEN

[Jamoe]

Originally posted by ThePENDRAGON@Mar 10 2006, 01:11 PM
The one about the guy on the beach in the sand pit is sad - particularly as the same thing happened in Cornwall last August with a 3 year-old girl

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/4151632.stm

PEN

[post=116291]Quoted post[/post]

[/b]

:withstupid:

[OldBloke]

Another contender ...

VENTURA, Calif. â€" A teacher who kept a 40 mm shell on his desk as a paperweight blew off part of his hand when he apparently used the object to try to squash a bug, authorities say.

The 5-inch-long shell exploded Monday while Robert Colla was teaching 20 to 25 students at an adult education class.

Part of Colla's right hand was severed and he suffered severe burns and minor shrapnel wounds to his forearms and torso, fire Capt. Tom Weinell said. No one else was injured. He was reported in stable condition at a hospital.

The teacher slammed the shell down in an attempt to kill something that was buzzing or crawling across the desk, said Fire Marshal Glen Albright.

Colla found the 40 mm round while hunting years ago and "obviously he didn't think the round was live," said Dennis Huston, who teaches computer design alongside Colla.