The joke thread

[Vargen]

Your GM is bored. Entertain me!:g:

50g for the best joke

[Jorgen]

Har du hørt om legomannen som var så klossete?

That sentence got no meaning in english ;P

[Sinap]

What do you call a really bad mage? Kreuz

Send 50g COD later, ta xD

[Nefrion]

Signs That You are Too DrunkYou lose arguments with inanimate objects.

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

Your job is interfering with your drinking.

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alchohol stream.

Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

You sincerely believe alchohol is the elusive 5th food group.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence? I think not!

Two hands and just one mouth.. - now THAT'S a drinking problem!

You can focus better with one eye closed.

The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

You fall off the floor..

Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.

Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.

At AA meetings you begin: 'Hi my name is.. uh..'

Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed.

The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in..

You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alchohol, and [Women or Men].

Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.

Roseanne looks good.

Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.

That damned pink elephant followed me home again.

I'm as sober as a judge.

The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.

You wake up screaming 'TORO TORO TORO!' in the middle of the night.

[noevra]

Two guys drink in this bar every night. They stay in the corner on their own. No one else will talk to them as one has a big hump on his back and the other has a wooden leg. The guy with the hump on his back leaves early one night and takes a short cut through the graveyard.

Half way through his journey a ghost jumps out from behind a headstone and yells,

"What do you have on your back?"

"A hump." the startled man replies.

"Gimme it" says the ghost and grabs the hump off the man's back and flies off into the night.

The guy, now standing bolt upright for the first time in 30 odd years, heads back to the bar. He then proceeds to join all the other regulars for drinks.

After a while he goes over to his old mate with the wooden leg, who by now is sitting with his mouth wide open in amazement.

"Where the heck is your hump?" he asks.

The now hump-less guy tells him his tale of good fortune about taking the short cut through the graveyard.

With that, the wooden leg guy hops up as fast as he can and hops at full speed to the graveyard where he is met by the same ghost.

"What do you have on your back?" yells the ghost.

"Nothing" said hoppy.

"Well here's a hump for you" said the ghost placing it nicely on hoppy's back before flying off into the night.

[Neff]

This one time, Vargen got out of BARE form.

2 dyslektiske tomater gikk over en vei, så ble den ene overkjørt. Da ropte den andre "KOMMAN KENNETH!!11"

[Luminance]

perfect joke (bit soon, but hey )

otherwise have a go with the ducks

[Bob]

Who is the best druid there is?
 - Vargen of course!

:roflmao:


Now you can decide for yourself if that was the best joke there is, or just a nice insult - or both :norty:
Either way, you can just send me 50g straight away :narnar:

[Nefertem]

Going hug-amok at the SOG meeting wasn't good enough for you Vargen? :sad:

[StrontiumDog]

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"

[noevra]

i think vargen's joke is the best

50g for the best joke

:roflmao:

[saori]

Do you know the difference between a dick and a chair???
.
.
.
.
.
.No? Then be careful where you choose to sit down!

[Adularena]

Vargen drives like a girl!
That makes _me_ laugh....eh, does this mean that _I_ have to pay _you_ 50G?

[Neff]

Yo' momma so fat she needs her drivers license picture was taken they used google earth-

[Knabbel]

Yo' momma so hairy that the hair around her nipples are afro's..