The Winalot Diet

[Cadaver]

I have two dogs and I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco.  As I was standing in the queue at the till a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time.  However, not before I'd lost 50 pounds and then awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet, and the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.  The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned.  I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??

[delanvital]

:roflmao::roflmao:

Edit: A bit puzzled by your tagline and your avatar... so, it is okay to set others on fire, just not yourself? Kinda like the opposite situation with murder?

[suicidal_monkey]

:lmfao::lmfao::doh::flirty:nice.

[Nefertem]

nice one :roflmao:

[Bastet]

Class :roflmao:

[Cadaver]

Edit: A bit puzzled by your tagline and your avatar... so, it is okay to set others on fire, just not yourself? Kinda like the opposite situation with murder?

I think you're reading too much in to something that is entirely unimportant.
 
The tagline is a Terry Pratchett quote from one of his Discworld books (I forget which). The avatar just kind of goes with it in a sarcastic way, hinting, as you rightly point out, that if you were to ignite someone else - it woud be a good idea to not set yourself ablaze whilst doing so.
 
Just my sense of humour.
 
Oh, I ought to point out the OP is a shameless rip from an e-mail I received today. I neither own any dogs, or eat Winalot. I have, however, been hit by a car before, but not whilst licking my nuts.

[sheepy]

sooooo good, very fuuny

[Bob]

Oh, I ought to point out the OP is a shameless rip from an e-mail I received today. I neither own any dogs, or eat Winalot. I have, however, been hit by a car before, but not whilst licking my nuts.

Disappointed     :flirty:

But still funny :roflmao:

[Penfold]

.....I have, however, been hit by a car before, but not whilst licking my nuts.

Someone else's then?

PEN

[delanvital]

I think you're reading too much in to something that is entirely unimportant.

Yup that's me :bleh: