what do you get when you cross a....

Started by Jamoe, October 17, 2007, 08:45:22 AM

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Jamoe

October 17, 2007, 08:45:22 AM Last Edit: October 17, 2007, 08:51:29 AM by Jamoe
what do                         you get when you cross a cow with a kangaroo?


















                        a kangamoo...

:roflmao:

ohohohn and

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?    











A: Great big holes

DuVeL

#1
October 17, 2007, 09:06:42 AM
Want another bad joke?
 
Last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was
tired and freezing. Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the
occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin. Then suddenly he heard a strange noise.......



BUMP........





BUMP........





BUMP........





Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving rain, he saw the faint outline of a large
box turning into his road.





BUMP........





BUMP........





BUMP........





He froze to the spot, he couldn't believe his eyes, as the box approached from the shadows, he was able to make
out its shape more clearly....It was a coffin.





Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started walking briskly home.



BUMP........





BUMP........





BUMP........





He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking faster.........



BUMP........BUMP......





BUMP........BUMP.....





BUMP........BUMP......





The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but he heard the coffin speed up after him......



BUMP........BUMP......BUMP......





BUMP........BUMP......BUMP......





BUMP........BUMP......BUMP......





He started to sprint, but so did the coffin.





BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.





BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....





BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.





Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his
pocket, he pulled out his keys, His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside slamming the
front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and


lumped into his comfy chair.





Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through the front door. The force of the impact
broke the lock off the coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued its chase.....



BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...





BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...





BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...





BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...





In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom
and locked the door........





BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...





BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...





BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...





The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and launched itself at the bathroom door. With an
almighty smash, the bathroom door flew off its hinges....


The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young terrified lad.



BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...





BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...





BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...





In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom cabinet......
He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the coffin.......still it came.



BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...





He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it .....


Still it came......





BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...





He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it .still it came......





BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...





He grabbed some Beneylin cough mixture and threw


it........











The coffin stopped.
Survivor of LAN V, VI, VIII, IX, X, XII, XIV, XVI, XVIII, XX, XXIV, XXX, XXXII, XXXIV and XXXVI so far...
[QUOTE]Lionheart; Grolsch to DuVeL is like spinache to Popeye [/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Cheesepuff...A cyborg is sent from the future on a deadly mission. He has to kill Ninja_Freak, a young Man whose life will have a great significance in years to come.Ninja has only one protector - DuVeL - also sent from the future. The Terminator uses his exceptional intelligence and strength to find Ninja_Freak & attempt to terminate him.
[/QUOTE]

delanvital

#2
October 17, 2007, 10:10:48 AM
Jamoe.. I think Duvel has overtaken you there mate. That is... friggin minutes I spent reading!

(but I snickered at both)

Jamoe

#3
October 17, 2007, 10:26:16 AM
supposed to be "what do you get if you cross..." jokes..

nice one D, bloody awful joke :roflmao:

DuVeL

#4
October 17, 2007, 10:34:25 AM
Quote from: Jamoe;210268supposed to be "what do you get if you cross..." jokes..
 
nice one D, bloody awful joke :roflmao:

Ah sorry. Thought it was bad jokes.
Here's some "what do you get if you cross..."-jokes;
 
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a shark?
 
 
 
 Frostbite.
--------------------------------------------------
What do you get if you cross a toad with a galaxy?
 
 

Star warts!
Survivor of LAN V, VI, VIII, IX, X, XII, XIV, XVI, XVIII, XX, XXIV, XXX, XXXII, XXXIV and XXXVI so far...
[QUOTE]Lionheart; Grolsch to DuVeL is like spinache to Popeye [/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Cheesepuff...A cyborg is sent from the future on a deadly mission. He has to kill Ninja_Freak, a young Man whose life will have a great significance in years to come.Ninja has only one protector - DuVeL - also sent from the future. The Terminator uses his exceptional intelligence and strength to find Ninja_Freak & attempt to terminate him.
[/QUOTE]

spiritus

#5
October 17, 2007, 10:38:54 AM
hehe.. nice ones. realy bad jokes, and it make me smile.. must be something wrong with me.. but anyhow, i'm off to watch some Star warts!
haha :lmfao:
                   
Regards: Spiritus
----------------------------------------------
In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti!
----------------------------------------------

Hektor

#6
October 17, 2007, 12:46:14 PM Last Edit: October 17, 2007, 12:48:26 PM by Hektor
a german, a dutchman, a nun and a very beautiful woman are sitting together in a train compartment.
suddenly the train drives through a tunnel. its pitch-dark because the lights arent working.
then they hear the sound of somebody slap someones face.

"very good" the nun thinks. "the dutchman tried to grap the girl, what she didnt liked. so she slapped him".

"very good" the pretty girl thinks. "the dutchman tried to grab me in the dark, and he accidently touched the nun, what she didnt liked, and so she slapped him.

"what a mess!" the dutchman thinks. "under the veil of darkness, the german guy probably tried to grab the pretty girl, but he accidently grabbed the nun, what she didnt liked. she tried to slap the guy, but that bast*** realized it and crouched, so i got the slap".

the german guy thinks: "in the next tunnel ill smack the dutchman in his face again".
وما خلقت الجن والإنس إلا ليعبدون

spiritus

#7
October 17, 2007, 12:49:26 PM
hahaha :roflmao: that was a good one :lmfao:
                   
Regards: Spiritus
----------------------------------------------
In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti!
----------------------------------------------

Hektor

#8
October 17, 2007, 12:51:32 PM
Quote from: spiritus;210276hahaha :roflmao: that was a good one :lmfao:

you think? -then im sorry for posting it in the wrong thread :narnar:
وما خلقت الجن والإنس إلا ليعبدون

DuVeL

#9
October 17, 2007, 12:55:49 PM
:eyebrow:
The original joke was different, no people from countries were mentioned...
Better watch out as you're going on thin ice with Dutch-German jokes.
Survivor of LAN V, VI, VIII, IX, X, XII, XIV, XVI, XVIII, XX, XXIV, XXX, XXXII, XXXIV and XXXVI so far...
[QUOTE]Lionheart; Grolsch to DuVeL is like spinache to Popeye [/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Cheesepuff...A cyborg is sent from the future on a deadly mission. He has to kill Ninja_Freak, a young Man whose life will have a great significance in years to come.Ninja has only one protector - DuVeL - also sent from the future. The Terminator uses his exceptional intelligence and strength to find Ninja_Freak & attempt to terminate him.
[/QUOTE]

Hektor

#10
October 17, 2007, 01:00:46 PM
Quote from: DuVeL;210279:eyebrow:
The original joke was different, no people from countries were mentioned...
Better watch out as you're going on thin ice with Dutch-German jokes.


:lol:
dont worry!
among friends, its ok to tease each other! :huggy:
وما خلقت الجن والإنس إلا ليعبدون

DuVeL

#11
October 17, 2007, 01:02:33 PM
Or can be taken offensive if you don't watch out. Check your PM-Inbox...
Survivor of LAN V, VI, VIII, IX, X, XII, XIV, XVI, XVIII, XX, XXIV, XXX, XXXII, XXXIV and XXXVI so far...
[QUOTE]Lionheart; Grolsch to DuVeL is like spinache to Popeye [/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Cheesepuff...A cyborg is sent from the future on a deadly mission. He has to kill Ninja_Freak, a young Man whose life will have a great significance in years to come.Ninja has only one protector - DuVeL - also sent from the future. The Terminator uses his exceptional intelligence and strength to find Ninja_Freak & attempt to terminate him.
[/QUOTE]

Nefertem

#12
October 18, 2007, 01:27:07 AM Last Edit: October 18, 2007, 01:32:07 AM by Nefertem
Don't see how its offensive really, but then again Im not a strong nationalist or anything (or know anything about any rivalry or the likes that Holland and Germany might have going on).. Could understand it better if it were religions instead of countries..

On topic - Great jokes there :lmfao: (read. awful, but made me laugh :doh:)
[imga=right]http://www.tsuriai.dk/ms4.jpg[/imga]Nefertem - lvl 80 Nelf warrior, Aszune
Livtraser - lvl 80 noom mage, Aszune
Legba - lvl 71 Nelf rogue, Aszune
Shegoat (formerly Pentesiléa) - lvl 80 draenei shaman, Aszune
--------------------------------
As a species we\'re fundamentally insane. Put more than two of us in a room, we pick sides and start dreaming up ways to kill one another. Why do you think we invented politics and religion?
- Ollie, The Mist

Anonymous

#13
October 18, 2007, 11:29:05 AM
The joke appears to me to be a bit like a Scottish/English joke and among friends I would find that fine (even if the joke was aimed at me). I guess that there may be some German-Dutch ill feelings that may be stirred up but perhaps DuveL would fill me in (by PM if he wants)?

:cheers:

Luminance

#14
October 21, 2007, 11:38:33 AM Last Edit: October 21, 2007, 11:41:10 AM by Luminance
the german/dutch joke was awefull, i like the others though, especially the coffin. It was so lame it was funny ^^

i was saving this one for the winter, but as its getting really cold here soon, why not share it now:

 As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.
    The trucker lowers the window, and she says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
   The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the window.
   Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
    Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.
   At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck window.
    The trucker lowers the window.  Again she says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
   When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says...
   "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Minnesota and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

Also known as Lycan Lumi - On Aszune known as: Luminescence lvl 80 shammy
Best knife, double kill:
-=[dMw]=-Lumi|T.Wolve killed -=[dMw]=-Sithy with knife.
-=[dMw]=-Lumi|T.Wolve killed -=[dMw]=-R@ng3R with knife.
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