(Mild language) The Difference Between Cats & Dogs.

[Eternaluk]

The Dog's Day

8:00 am. - Dog food! Great, lovely!9:30 am. - A car ride! Great, lovely!9:40 am. - A walk in the park! Great, lovely!10:30 am. - Got rubbed and petted! Great, lovely!
  1:00 pm. - Played in the garden! Great, lovely!5:00 pm. - Dinner! Great, lovely!7:00 pm. - Got to play ball! Great, lovely!8:00 pm. - Wow! Watched TV with the people! Great, lovely!
  11:00 pm. - Sleeping on the bed! Great, lovely!

The Cat's Day
  Day 983 of my captivity.

My humans continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear.  Nevertheless I must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet to strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. *******s.

There was some sort of assembly tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my humans by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the humans regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The humans have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated metal cell, so he is safe.

For now...

Hope this hasn't been posted before.

[Nefertem]

Good one! Haven't seen it before

[BigFatCat]

And why is this not in the "but seriously" section? You think this is fiction?

[DuVeL]

Haven't read it before, nice find.
 

And why is this not in the "but seriously" section? You think this is fiction?

Miauw!
 

 

[delanvital]

lol nice one Eternal :roflmao: This part made me lol

"The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded."