Man needs a push...

[Anonymous]

Nicked from hexus forums but its classic;
 
A man and his wife were awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man got up and went to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, asked him for a push.
 
"Not a chance," said the husband, "it is three o'clock in the morning!" He slammed the door and returned to bed.
 
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
 
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answered.
 
“Did you help him?" she asked.
 
“No, I did not, it is three in the morning and it is raining cats and dogs out there!"
 
"Well, you have a short memory," said his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and should be ashamed of yourself!"
 
The man sighed, but did as he was told. He got dressed, and went out into the pounding rain. He called out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
 
"Yes," cames back the answer.
 
"Do you still need a push?" called out the husband.
 
"Yes, please!" came the reply from the dark.
 
"Where are you?" called the husband.
 
"Over here, on the swing."

[Luminance]

Hahaha, nice one

Brother from a college of mine putted something in the microwave, under heavy influence of alcohol then passed out on the bank. The next morning, his mom opened the microwave and found a half molten cellphone.

[delanvital]

quality stuff :roflmao:

[Penfold]

Made me lol .

PEN

[OldBloke]

Excellent. I do like daft jokes.

[Alma]

Hehe nice one. Your sense of humour seems the exact same as my dad's, BB..

[WhiteWolf]

Nice one BB:) Made me ROFL:roflmao: