19 terrible puns

[spoong]

1.The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He had too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3.She was only a whisky maker, but I loved her still.
4.A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5.No matter how much you push an envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6.A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was arrested for littering.
7.A grenade thrown into carpet shop in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8.Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9.Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
10.Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
11.I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
12.A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
13.A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
14.If a short fortune-teller escaped from prison he would be a small medium, at large.
15.The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
16.Teop the backward poet writes in-verse.
17.In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
18.If cannibals eat a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
19.You shouldn't join dangerous cults, just practice safe sects

[Anonymous]

//repost warning

I read the first 10 to see if they would make me laugh but they didn't so no pun in ten did.

[delanvital]

//repost warning

I read the first 10 to see if they would make me laugh but they didn't so no pun in ten did.

Go get your coat! :lmfao:

[spoong]

//repost warning

I read the first 10 to see if they would make me laugh but they didn't so no pun in ten did.

Oy vey.  I deserved that.

[T-Bag]

Oh dear, I feel guilty for laughing at some of these. They shouldn't be funny.

[BabyBlueBall]

:doh:

They were aweful!!

[morboII]

Awful like a fox!

Nothing better than rubbish puns. Keep 'em coming

[Parvaneh]

I'm recieving a newsletter once in a while, called "lousy pun of the day", as the name states, is a newsletter filled with...well lousy puns.

This week, one of them was:

"The canadian government recently anncounced its intention to fight and defeat the extremist elements within its borders, in what has been termed: ‘The war Ontario’"

I think that one fits well into the lousyness of the other puns

[delanvital]

I'm recieving a newsletter once in a while, called "lousy pun of the day", as the name states, is a newsletter filled with...well lousy puns.

This week, one of them was:

"The canadian government recently anncounced its intention to fight and defeat the extremist elements within its borders, in what has been termed: ‘The war Ontario’"

I think that one fits well into the lousyness of the other puns

ooh... what's the name of that newsletter? :woot2:

[Aquilifer]

The quality of the ale ails me

[Deetz]

Oh, they are bad, very very bad. :tumbleweed:

But some made me laugh. :lmfao:

[Parvaneh]

- What part of the keyboard does L0Lcats use to express their delight in consuming cheeseburgers? The Nom-pad!

- Which measure-tool are to be used when determining the size of mens swim wear? a Speedos-meter



"badam-chi" :taz: