Technical Support

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Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates  4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are  apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to  try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.
 
To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several  other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy  6.9.
 
Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better.
 
I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and  left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several  weeks.
 
Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the  same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other  they caused severe damage to my hardware.
 
I eventually upgraded to Fiance 1.0, only to discover that this  product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to  use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and  Cleanhouse2008.
 
Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be  very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored  in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months  later when I had forgotten about them.
 
Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter,  and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter  products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem  is.
 
Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly,  requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which  needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself  to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.
 
Wife 1..0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw,  which can't be turned off.
 
Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2008, but there  could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife  1.0 detects Mistress 2008, it tends to delete all of your Money before  uninstalling itself.
 
Help requested please
 
Regards,
 
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Dear Troubled User:
 
This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people  upgrade from a Girlfriend application to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a  Utilities and Entertainment program.
 
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to  run everything. It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to  Girlfriend 1.2. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from  the system once installed.
 
You are right that you cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.2 because  Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under  'Warnings-Alimony/Child Support.'
 
I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the  situation. I suggest installing the background application 'Yes Dear' to  alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the  command C: \ APOLOGIZE. Because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE  command before the system will return to normal anyway.
 
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high  maintenance. Overuse of its support programs will cause the system to launch  the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the  performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software.. I recommend  Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.
 
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With  Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause  irreversible damage to the operating system.
 
Best of luck,
 
Tech Support

[delanvital]

A classic and this is the best version

[Luminance]

hahaha, classic indeed, been a while, was a fun read again