Is it spying or protecting?

[Norm]

Hi all.
        As some of you know,I have a daughter, who spends time playing counterstrike and chatting on msn.My problem is,within last couple of days people from this forum who I respect have informed me of "bad environment for Lara" and suchlike.Now this has me worried, do I stop her playing/talking on msn.Or do I monitor whats happened/whats said(spy).She's pretty clued up for nine year old kid and very level headed.The sad thing is it was a relation of mine that has sparked one of the comments,and he has been warned.Anyone else had/got this problem,and is there a solution good for everyone? :unsure:

[Benny]

I have a similar problem with MSN and a 13 year old. Her aliases aren't what I would call acceptable. We've had a fair few barneys, and it resulted in her banning for periods at a time. I don't like the idea of some of the language she uses or the attitude she takes.

I have installed a loggin program so I can check back, but I have moral issues with using it. I see it more as a audit trail (IT twat;)) than an active monitor.

I think you may have a different issue, yours is corruption, mine is attitude.

[TeaLeaf]

A parent has to take reasonable steps to ensure the safety of their children.
It is reasonable to assume that minor left unsupervised to surf the net will at some point come across some questionable people.
It therefore follows that it is not spying.

If the motive is safety then you are fine.  If the motive is spying then I woudl avoid it.  But I would still take logs to backtrack in the event of a 'worst case scenario'.

My 2 cents.

TL.

[Norm]

I got one of those too Benny(13 year old daughter),same problem,same course of action. :angry:  :frusty: .

Yeah,probably will take some course of action,just want to get some views from you guys, to .......well probably make me feel justified tbh.

[Benny]

As a slight addition, I haven't ever read the logs. I do have a firewall blocking every keyword that my perverted head could think of, (that's a fair few) to cover the spurious web site problem.

On the game side, my existing 2 don't play online collabarative games, only things from places like mousebreaker, so I don't have that issue.

[Anonymous]

I use cybersitter on my daughters PC. It is very configurable and works well. You can password protect it, set it so that the icon doesn't appear in the system and pretty much control what goes in and out. You can also get it to send logs or reports if you want to. Finally, it will totally block MSN at the flick of a switch if you want to and you can also setup accounts that do not get affected by it - if I login to her PC i don't get blocked for instance.

Download it here

[DuVeL]

I don't think forbidding MSN or CS is a way because nowadays they can use the internet everywhere.
I'd say spy a bit and if you don't find anything disturbing then let it go. A once in a while check up might be fine to me. It's for her own safety because not all kids know what's out there in the world.

I'm not a dad or so but I hope this counts for uncles aswell (although he is almost 1   )

Greets Pete

[Rabbi Bob]

Erin is 1 now and already I feel "Protect them whenever you are able and educate them of the dangers.  At its best, it's an unforgiving world out there for the young ones."

I was discussing a proxy setup with my wife last night and we'll be setting that up when Erin gets online.

Until then,we surf together

  :lol:

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by Rabbi Bob@Sep 9 2004, 01:19 AM
Erin is 1 now and already I feel "Protect them whenever you are able and educate them of the dangers.  At its best, it's an unforgiving world out there for the young ones."

I was discussing a proxy setup with my wife last night and we'll be setting that up when Erin gets online.

Until then,we surf together

  :lol:

I highly recommend Cybersitter as mentioned above. Very customizable and just worked.

[Norm]

Cheers BB,I've down loaded 10 day trial.Now just to sort the counterstrike problem.

[Stryker]

I wonder if this is how the Chinese government justify their actions?

Its a real awkward one chaps, I cant honestly say.... thankfully I don't have this issue, for a little while at least.

I'd say education on the dangers is a good start, but experience cant be gained through education can it?  hhhmmm

[Benny]

I really don't want my girl to experience some freakshow on the internet or in a chatroom, or worse. Finding out the hard way is not really an option in these matters.

IMHO.

Keep an eye on things, chastise and censor if the situation appears to be arising.

[target]

Originally posted by Benny@Sep 9 2004, 01:16 PM
I really don't want my girl to experience some freakshow on the internet or in a chatroom, or worse. Finding out the hard way is not really an option in these matters.

IMHO.

Keep an eye on things, chastise and censor if the situation appears to be arising.

I have to agree with Benny (oh, the shame )

My kids get on the PC (thereby keeping me away from CS ) but they haven't really investigated chatrooms, etc, yet.

I keep an eye on them while they are online and I filter all their emails, it might be draconian, but hey!

My 2p

[Doorman]

I went to Draconia once. Cheesh, what a dump! Couldn't do nothin', couldn't say nothin'.     Needless to say, I won't be going back.  

[smilodon]

There are those who argue that if a parent needs to use filtering/spying software then they shouldn't be allowing their child to use the Internet unsupervised at all. In the same way that a parent wouldn't send their child off into a City on their own, it's irresponsible to allow them unsupervised access to the Internet.

Like a City the Internet isn't child friendly. It's a grown up environment not suited for children.

The Net isn't a surrogate parent and offloading parental responsibilities to it is irresponsible at best and dangerous at worse. Net usage should be a shared experience between parent and child, and not something you do with a kid to allow yourself some free time. Much like bribing children into being quiet with videos and DVD's, dumping them unsupervised in front of a PC is lazy parenting. Until they are old enough to look out for themselves the Net should be treated like any other potentailly dangerous activity and be supervised at all times.

And before the lynch mobs set off for NW London I'd like to point out that I lifted that more or less intact from an article in the Spectator which I read about four years ago. Having no opinion one way or the other I though it might add another dimension to the discussion.
Thoughts?