jackass!

[Stryker]

I guess I cant give anything away but GO SEE IT!!!!!!! ITS SO COOL!!

 :jester:  :kill1:  :shag1:  :biggrin: :nasty end:

[sheepy]

i actually do want 2 go c this, but havnt had hte chance yet.

[ChimpBoy]

Any advice on how I can convince my highly intelligent girlfriend to go and see this ?   :?

If you guys can't help me then it's another spanish art house flick for CB......

[smite]

Theres blokes in it with Huge cocks ........and they can count to ten........and have filofaxes ............sod it u make it up  

[Dingo]

Any advice on how I can convince my highly intelligent girlfriend to go and see this ?   :?

highly intelligent girlfriend and your??  8O

.....is that the same Chimpboy i ask myself!!   :twisted:  :lol:

[smilodon]

Any advice on how I can convince my highly intelligent girlfriend to go and see this ?   :?

If you guys can't help me then it's another spanish art house flick for CB......

She can't be that bright if she's willing to make do with you.

Plus the fact that you are either not alowed to go anywhere without her, or actually have no other friends to ask, is a sadness all of it's own.

[ChimpBoy]

I know, it's hard to believe that this half-man, half-ape can make it with a real girl, but it's true.

Not sure about the big cock thing - I think you fail to appreciate my goal here.  Haven't you guys seen taxi driver?

I was hoping for some startling insight into how jackass is a metaphor for the inner child in all of us (or something).  She just might be stupid enough to buy that.....

[Dingo]

I was hoping for some startling insight into how jackass is a metaphor for the inner child in all of us (or something).  She just might be stupid enough to buy that.....

Now let's get this right Chimp......is she highly intelligent or stupid??

As an older guy I, and several of the other members of this Forum can help you young bucks out here, and advise you of the pitfalls of dating intelligent women.


I think Smitey gave you the first clue

Theres blokes in it with Huge cocks ........and they can count to ten........and have filofaxes ............sod it u make it up

.....and I'm sure the rest of the guys will agree when I say that the only real difference between a "highly intelligent girlfriend" and a normal girlfriend is attitude........you either have it or you need to get it....real quick!!  :roll:

Now let's start with the premise that if she was that intelligent she wouldn't be going out with a bloke in the first place......after all there are lots of other intelligent women out there who don't want all their meals cooked for them and won't leave all their dirty laundry all over the bedroom floor.....so the real intelligent choice is to be Lesbian......

Having got over that hurdle she is almost yours for the asking.... but neither Rommel or Monty got where they are today without taking a few risks.....so the tactical plan is a simple one

.....Tell her that you want to see the movie to remind you (her really of course) just how dumb and childlike "some Men" can be (she will instantly appreciate your finer qualities) and how you fail to see what a woman would find attractive in such men (reaffirming her choice of you as her "soulmate")

Suggest dinner afterwards (pay for God's sake as women hate stingy men!!) but be prepared to listen to her diatrate over dinner of how boorish she finds such men (general tip here is to recall highlights of the 1966 World Cup win to keep your oohs and ahhs at the required level whilst "listening")

Suitably softened up after the meal tell her that you bought her some flowers (Lillies work a treat as you excite both her sense of smell and sight here....forget Roses.. they are so passe.....and mean something to "them" that you don't want to entertain!!) but forgot to bring them and left them at your place (coffee's out...flowers are in)......

Once inside your domain (and suitably softened with the flowers and Bubbly [don't forget the bubbly] suitably chilled) bring the conversation round to the film again and ask her if, at any time, she became aroused at the sight of all those men doing such daredevil stunts (crazy and dumb as they were  :wink: )

Once she opens up (metaphorically....at the moment)  and tells you that although the guys were real dumb they had a kind of sex appeal about them........immediately launch into the time that you too were crazy in your younger days and remember only too well the time that....(anything that leads her to believe that you can be an animal, rampant with lust and longing) and how, although appreciating her high intellectual levels, wish that she would share with you a time that she was wanton and carefree)............eh voila!!  :wink:

.....she is yours for the taking, be manly and just a little rough, drag her across the bed before you roger her wildly in your evil wickedly manly way......she is putty in your hands!!   :twisted:  :twisted:


ps Do remember to keep some lose change around the house for her taxi ride home (youv'e both been drinking remember) and remind her of the early start you have the next day (otherwise you would be delighted for her to stay the night!!??)

Give her two days and she will be ringing every five minutes for a repeat performance.............

There you see.....she really is intelligent after all!!   :wink:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:

NB All information contained within this article is not based upon real people or situations and the makers of the piece accept no responsibility whatsoever for hormonally induced attacks, unwanted pregnancies, boiled rabbits in saucepans, sleepless nights induced by women stalkers, crazed or frenzied knife attacks, litigation pertaining to broken promises of marriage, proposals of marriage, proposals to move in together or any acts of God

[smilodon]

Then again, you could just  give her a slap round the chops and tell her you're going to see it with your mates. If she doesn't like it then she knows where the bloody door is.......

[Doorman]

Then again, you could just  give her a slap round the chops and tell her you're going to see it with your mates. If she doesn't like it then she knows where the bloody door is.......

Smooth bastard! It's easy to see why you're such a success with the ladeez. (or should that be 'laydeez')........Wimmin.

[ChimpBoy]

Wow, thanks for the fatherly advice gents.  Being a young pup unwise to the ways of woman I need this.  Sod off Clare Rainer, I've got Dingo and Smiley.

On the one hand there is the subtle "lurve" god double-bluff moves of the Dingo.  

Then on the other you have Smilodon - the dictatorial alcoholic wife beater.   :x

The choice, as they say, is up to you.....   8O

[sheepy]

ur obviously with the wrong sort of wonam actually if u cannot b honest with her and say that your going to c the movie and she can come if she wants.

then again taking advice from me is a bit stupid, last time i pulled was in a mosh pit, after 8 hours of solid drinking [this was only 9pm btw] we then went on to a club and done some stupid drinking games, in the morning me m8s said i had pulled again and that she actually looked like shrek. but i dont rember that.

[smilodon]

Then on the other you have Smilodon - the dictatorial alcoholic wife beater.   :x

Stop inventing stuff.

Dictatorial? There's no dictatorial about it. She has a clear choice, either stay or sod off. It's completely up to her.

Alcoholic? Never mentioned anyone getting drunk.

Wife? It's your girlfriend. A loose partnership at best. No bonds of wedlock. No commitment.

Beater? One slap is hardly a beating.

My way is the only way - you know it makes sense...

[sheepy]

:stupid:

[smilodon]

I was hoping for some startling insight into how jackass is a metaphor for the inner child in all of us (or something).  She just might be stupid enough to buy that.....

Now let's get this right Chimp......is she highly intelligent or stupid??

As an older guy I............

SNIP UTTER UTTER WAFFLE

............ proposals of marriage, proposals to move in together or any acts of God

Don't you ever tell me that I post rubbish to this forum again, for you have claimed my crown and no mistake  :wink: