Best Edinburgh Fringe Gag Award 2017

Started by OldBloke, August 22, 2017, 06:50:53 AM

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OldBloke

The top 15 funniest jokes from the Fringe
1. "I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change" - Ken Cheng
2. "Trump's nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book" - Frankie Boyle
3. "I've given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point?" - Alexei Sayle
4. "I'm looking for the girl next door type. I'm just gonna keep moving house till I find her" - Lew Fitz
5. "I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the 'brella'. But he hesitated" - Andy Field
6. "Combine Harvesters. And you'll have a really big restaurant" - Mark Simmons
7. "I'm rubbish with names. It's not my fault, it's a condition. There's a name for it..." - Jimeoin
8. "I have two boys, 5 and 6. We're no good at naming things in our house" - Ed Byrne
9. "I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died... which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine" - Olaf Falafel
10. "Whenever someone says, 'I don't believe in coincidences.' I say, 'Oh my God, me neither!"' - Alasdair Beckett-King
11. "A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event" - Angela Barnes
12. "As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer" - Adele Cliff
13. "For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don't want to do it" - Phil Wang
14. "I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark" - Adam Hess
15. "I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act" - Tim Vine
"War without end. Well, what was history if not that? And how would having the stars change anything?" - James S. A. Corey

DuVeL

Survivor of LAN V, VI, VIII, IX, X, XII, XIV, XVI, XVIII, XX, XXIV, XXX, XXXII, XXXIV and XXXVI so far...
[QUOTE]Lionheart; Grolsch to DuVeL is like spinache to Popeye [/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Cheesepuff...A cyborg is sent from the future on a deadly mission. He has to kill Ninja_Freak, a young Man whose life will have a great significance in years to come.Ninja has only one protector - DuVeL - also sent from the future. The Terminator uses his exceptional intelligence and strength to find Ninja_Freak & attempt to terminate him.
[/QUOTE]

Penfold


Liberator

Tim Vine doesn't seem to be performing as well as he did in previous polls.

Ed Byrne's is from the dark ages.

I like 10, then 3 and finally 2.

Penfold

Yeah, he's won it a couple of times and came runner up a few more hasn't he? I think he last win was with

[FONT=&]"I've decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust."[/FONT]

Talking of Hitler, I still remember this one from a couple of years ago which makes me smile

[FONT=&]Maybe Hitler wouldn’t have been so grumpy if people hadn’t left him hanging for high-fives all the time.

[/FONT]