Consultant

OldBloke · October 10, 2002, 11:50:35 AM

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban s sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the shepherd, "If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"

The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies, "Okay."

The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Website, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech mini-printer.

He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep here."

The shepherd cheers, "That's correct, you can have your sheep."

The young man takes an animal and puts it in the back of his Porsche.

The shepherd looks at him and asks, "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?"

The young man answers, "Yes, why not?"

The shepherd says, "You are an IT consultant."

"How did you know?" asks the young man.

"Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don't understand anything about my business... Now can I have my dog back?"

Trip · October 10, 2002, 11:55:22 AM

whats with all the jokes? :roll:

OldBloke · October 10, 2002, 12:41:54 PM

:stupid:

Trip · October 10, 2002, 01:56:23 PM

"Im With Stress Head"

Doorman · October 10, 2002, 02:38:01 PM

Don't complain. They're very good, keep 'em coming. OB

Trip · October 10, 2002, 03:54:34 PM

im not, Im just asking why all the jokes???

OldBloke · October 10, 2002, 03:59:41 PM

Quote... Im just asking why all the jokes???

Cos I've run out of obituaries to post.

Stryker · October 10, 2002, 04:13:06 PM

Geez Trip, u the type of dope that walks into a pub and asks "why all the beer?".

Anonymous · October 10, 2002, 06:55:23 PM

ROTFL :lol:

Trip · October 10, 2002, 07:40:27 PM

just asking ffs

sheepy · October 10, 2002, 07:40:42 PM

duhhhhh stryker,

beer = 4 drinkin!
:oops: be ashamed u had 2 use the mighty nectar 4 such a crap example :oops:

Gandalf · October 10, 2002, 08:28:17 PM

Quoteduhhhhh stryker,

beer = 4 drinkin!
:oops: be ashamed u had 2 use the mighty nectar 4 such a crap example :oops:

ok then, walks into a library and asks "Why all the books?" Or a girls school and "Why all the di........ err, right. Oldie said tasteful.

Trip · October 10, 2002, 09:21:15 PM

lol @ Gandalf-LordOfJelly