Piss-poor jokes only in here

[Anonymous]

To be read with german accent:

Two peanuts was walking down the road and one was assaulted.

Yup, that's piss poor :-)

[Dr Sadako]

[Stryker]

you got me there for a few secs I was looking round for the punchline S.

[Dr Sadako]

Actually it is a joke from Monty Pythons Flying Circus ... but it is still piss poor.

[Aga]

Here's my first attempt at a PPJoke.

A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when
the man felt a drop hit his nose.

"I think it's raining", he said to his wife.

"No, that felt more like snow to me", she replied.

"No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said.

Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about
whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a Communist Party
official walking toward them.

"Let's not fight about it", the man said, "let's ask Comrade Rudolph
whether it's officially raining or snowing".

As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is
it officially raining or snowing?"

"It's raining, of course", he replied, and walked on.
But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!", to which the man
quietly replied...





"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear".


 

[Benny]

You've heard about Barry the Brown nose Reindeer?
He's just like Rudolph, only he can't stop as quick.

[Stryker]

ROFL

[Tufty]

that is truly awful, well done

[sheepy]

lol. i was and still am chuckling to my self about the mental image of a row of raindear with there noses up eachothers asses

[OldBloke]

Riding the favourite at Cheltenham, a jockey was well ahead of the field when suddenly out of nowhere he was hit in the face by a turkey and a string of sausages.

He managed to control his mount and pulled back into the lead only to be struck by a box of Christmas crackers and a dozen mince pies.

Using all his skill he managed once again to steer his horse back to the front of the field when, on the run in, he took a blow to the head by a bottle of sherry and a Christmas pud.

He still managed to come in second but went immediately to  the stewards to complain that he had been seriously hampered.   :lol:

[Benny]

The priest has to pee so he asks the janitor to cover the confessional.

"But Father what do I do?"

"Don't worry, it's easy no one can see you in the booth. If the
transgression is minimal give them one Hail Mary and shake your head once,  if it's a bit more serious, two head shakes and maybe two Hail Marys."

Off goes the Priest, janitor's in the booth, and a lovely young woman shows up and sits down.

"Forgive me Father for I have sinned. Last night I gave a stranger a blow
job."

Totally unhinged the janitor says" Wait just a minute my dear I'll be right
back." He runs out and finds an altar boy. "Hey what does the Priest usually give for a blow job?"

"usually a bag of M&M's and a Coke."

[TeaLeaf]

Riding the favourite at Cheltenham, a jockey was well ahead of the field when suddenly out of nowhere he was hit in the face by a turkey and a string of sausages.............snip.......................He still managed to come in second but went immediately to the stewards to complain that he had been seriously hampered.  :lol:

Now that was seriously terrible  :lol:

TL.  

[Gh0st Face Killah]

What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the sea....?



Bob!!

[Anonymous]

wdycamw...

...a seagull on his head?   Cliff

...a slice of bacon on his head?  Ahmed

...two slices of bacon on his head? Mohammed

...two slices of bacon on his head but he has palsy?  Sheik Mohammed

[TeaLeaf]

that was bad, truly bad  :lol: